So, you are gearing up for law school, mouth foaming as you sit there in a big room full of LSAT takers, and you know that once you get those scores back you will be strolling into an amazing law school and beginning your career as a lawyer.
Well, somewhere a few other individuals are gearing up for law school. They are considered some of the finest people to have ever walked the Earth. Nobody told them the difference between a tier 1 and a tier 4 school, and frankly, they don't seem to care. They just want to graduate and practice law.
They are known as: The Law School Avengers
Iron Man
Tony Stark had a STEM degree and a big science background which lead him to believe he would do well in IP law. He started his first year paying close attention to the cases and taking good notes. In fact, many were jealous of his laptop, which was the finest in the class. He'd always sandwich himself in between two hot women on the first day (you know, when the professors make you write down where you will be sitting for the whole year).
Tony was quite the gunner, always raising his hand and speaking when he had the chance. In fact, everyone just knew that Mr. Stark would walk away with all the big awards and the highest class rank. When Tony Stark explained the science behind the Hairy Hand Case (Hawkins v. McGee), everyone, including the professor, was all ears.
But something happened. Exam day came and everyone pulled out their calculators for the Contracts exam. Tony suited up right there in front of the proctor, whose mouth hung open. The proctor began furiously pointing at the board, which said "no outside materials except for laptop, calculator, and scratch paper." Tony was forced, to his dismay, to remove his Iron Man suit. Since his only calculator was built into the suit, Tony Stark ended 1L with the lowest grade in Contracts.
Everyone thought this gunner would be on the top of the class, but instead he walked out of 1L with an almost failing GPA and would have to take Contracts again. Instead of doing that, Tony dropped out of law school and fell back on the STEM degree he had earned earlier. Oh, and the multi-billion dollar defense company he owned didn't hurt either.
Captain America
Captain Steve Rogers had one thing in mind when he started law school. That was justice. He was the type who always said he wanted to be a lawyer to help those in need. He didn't care about BigLaw or big money. Further, as a military man, he figured he would get in on JAG if things didn't pan out. He also was aware of the loan repayment option for public interest law that his law school offered. He would need it, as he got no institutional grant money or aid of any type.
Let's back up a moment, shall we? You see, Captain America had practiced hard for the LSAT. He took the practice exams and eventually scored a 177 on one of these practice exams. He was feeling good about himself. In fact, he was preparing to go to one of the finest public interest law schools in the land, CUNY law. However, when Captain America begin the LSAT, he found himself falling into a deep cryogenic sleep. He was awoken at the end of the LSAT and forced to hand in his blank scan tron. Since he got a 120, he was forced to attend Cooley Law School, who took him mostly on account of his strong military background.
Captain America got alright grades at Cooley and was liked by his professors as well as the dean as being the kind of guy who follows the rules and doesn't talk back. In fact, when the Cooley sign fell off the Lansing Lugnuts Stadium, it was Captain America who volunteered to hang it back up.
Spiderman
Spiderman, like Tony Stark, had a science background which he figured he would fall back on. However, since his uncle's death, young Peter Parker figured he would use law school as a way to get jerks like the man who murdered his uncle put behind bars, and sue the Daily Bugle for defamation.
To Spiderman's dismay, he found that he was paying more money in law school than he would get in any defamation suit against the Bugle. He took out many loans, but since he was going to a lower T1 school part time, he got some good aid on the side (mostly as a result of going to Columbia for undergrad).
Spiderman's fate came whenever he would try to study. He found that his girlfriend wanted all of his time and attention, and whenever he tried to open one of his law books, he found that his webbing always made the pages stick shut. Spiderman eventually decided he should just drop out after reading JDpainterguy's blog.
The Hulk
They still talk about the hulk in the halls of the law school he attended. Dr. Bruce Banner was always a quiet type. He sat in the back row and always took the most meticulous notes. He used a note taking program that Tony Stark let him use. One day, in his 2L class, the international law professor was going over the case The Paquete Habana. Dr. Banner enjoyed this case thoroughly (many seem to enjoy this one, for some strange reason) and was hoping he would be called on to tell it to the class. However, he was not. Instead of paying attention as normal (what more could he learned by paying attention to this case?), he began searching the internet. Somehow Dr. Bruce Banner found a link to one of the scam blogs and started reading through it. Realizing that he was now a 2L and in deep debt, and further realizing the job outlook for graduates of his school, Dr. Bruce Banner started to rage.
The professor looked up, after telling his own anecdote about being aboard a Navy ship at Fleet Week, and noticed the Hulk running through desks right at him. The hulk picked up the professor by the throat and demanded to see the Valvoline Dean.
The rest is history, and the Hulk actually had to serve a short jail sentence, which would have probably made it so he could never pass the character and fitness portion of the bar exam. It's a shame too, because up until then, Bruce Banner was #1 in his class and on law review.
Thor
Thor didn't really care about law school, but was connected (his father was a partner at a big law firm), so he figured he might as well go to whatever school would take him.
Thor was somewhat cocky and did not pay much attention in class. He found right away that he had no taste whatsoever for the females of law school and it made him feel somewhat depressed. At first he thought it was his school's fault and planned on getting top 10% grades and transfering. However, right away Thor knew that he would not get the grades needed to move up to top schools like Fordham or University of Oregon. So, he sat back and drifted aimlessly through law school.
Thor was famous for always missing the exact number of classes allowed plus one. For his first year he interned his his father's firm in Asgard, finding himself doing regular intern stuff like scrubing walls, watering plants, and plungering out toilets until the plumber arrived. Thor knew that this would not last though, and eventually he would be next to his dad working hard on multi-planetary contracts and property issues.
In Thor's third year he was told by his father that there would only be one position available at the firm and it was going to his brother Loki, who got into a much better law school (Georgetown University Law Center). So Thor dropped out two weeks before finals and fell back on being the heir to the throne of Asgard (which was more prestigious and paid more than BigLaw).
