Someone Has to be the Guinea Pig...

I am proud to say that I am the very first in my family not only to go to college, but also to go to law school.  That being said, my family has no clue what law school is like or what the legal profession is really like.  Recently I talked to a family member who said that I was probably going to be "set for life."  I did not know what to say to this, as I expect utter hell ahead of me to find a job - and I have little to no hope of success.  I have also considered joining the military, teaching English outside of the US, or leaving the US upon graduating for other work as other options.  I fully expect to have to settle for one of these options.  After all, who am I, a bottom of the class law student in a lower tier law school, with very little work experience and no connections, to expect something better?  I have also prepared myself for work at Starbucks or in Fast Food, as I at least have experience with that sort of thing, and while I hated it, one has to do what one has to do to survive.  I have resigned myself to the idea that I will never own my own home or partake in any such large purchase using credit.

Being the first in my family to go to college and law school, I have realized that I am the guinea pig.  When I started my undergraduate 'career' I took out much loan money.  I did not live at home, nor did I consider that a viable option at the time due to issues that were taking place at home during that time in my life.  As such, I incurred much extra debt to cover rent.  At the time I lived in Seattle, WA shortly after the wake of the 9/11 attacks.  The airline industry, which is huge in Seattle, was severely hurt due to the attacks.  Boeing and other large companies had laid off many workers, making the unemployment in Seattle and Washington state skyrocket.  Finding a job at that time was quite hard, so I did school instead of finding a job.  Sometimes I sit back, and think, to the sounds of NIN or Rancid blasting loudly on speakers behind me, what would have life been like if I had went to work instead of school?

I moved out of state and transferred schools to finish my undergraduate degree.  After that I moved to the east coast for law school as I was not accepted to any of the west coast schools I applied at.  I am sure this is quite common, as I know of a lot of TTTT and TTT students on the east coast from places such as California, Washington, Oregon, etc.

As I have gone through college and know the reality of the college 'experience' and the 'real job market' that exists after college, I could help my own children with the whole college experience.  Problem, I do not plan on having children (never felt the want to) and I don't think I would have any with such debt even if I wanted some (which, again, I don't).  Therefore, even though I have served as the Guinea pig, I will not have any children of my own to tell about the results of this experiment.  Therefore, I am a wasted experiment in many ways.

Yesterday I was told a niece of mine is gearing up to go to college.  She lives on the west coast and I don't talk to her, except when visiting (once every couple years, maybe).  She is from a lower income family and her mother has done a couple years of college, but never finished.  Like me at one optimistic time, my niece probably imagines that college will lead to wealth.  Her boyfriend comes from a family that is, according to her mother, 'well off'.  Of course, the boyfriend's parents are boomers who succeeded partly due to college.  Surely these boomers paid little for their educations and are reaping the rewards.  If my niece goes to college, surely she will end up 'well off' just like them, right?

I imagine she will one day have children of her own, and one day can be the Guinea pig of her family, telling them about her college experience and the results of it.  Who knows, maybe my niece will find success.  Maybe she will win the college lottery.  I hope she does.  Since her mother has some college experience, I am sure she can benefit from learning about not taking out loans and living at home.  After all, I was informed that she does not want to talk out loans at the outset.  That's great.  I wish I knew not to back then.

I will graduate law school with around $200,000 in loans.  I do not share this tid bit often as it's somewhat disheartening to think about.  However, at the same time, I know my situation, and I know that even if I make $100,000 I will not be able to buy a house for a few years.  I know, however, that I will not make this kind of money out of law school.  People at my school who think they can make this much, and who are not in the top 1-2% of the class or who are not well connected are fools.  There is no nice way to put it.  It's the honest truth.

However, that being said, they too, in a way, are Guinea pigs.  They will eventually realize the absolute hell that is before them.  They will have the sleepless nights, the fear of the reoccurring nightmares of law school, and the unending lament of having went to law school in the first place.  Many will break.  Some will kill themselves (oh yes, they will).  Others may end up in prison, which, may not be a bad alternative, as there is no debt and job search in there to worry about (sore rears, that's another story).  Others will flee the country, feeling the shame of not being able to have paid back their debt.  Having left the US on a few occasions, the idea of leaving the country does not bother me.  However, what does bother me is not having a choice.  What bothers me is having WASTED years on getting a worthless education.  I have learned a lot through college, but I could have learned it all on my own without paying $200,000.

What a waste...

Prestige Whoring | Law School Maths

If you are going to law school or are thinking about going to law school, you have probably heard the term "prestige whore".  While I do not particularly care for the term, it is a reality of the legal world, and you had better get used to it. 

Lawyers and law students are generally obsessive about prestige.  One look at top-law-schools will tell you that from 0L, students are riled up over where they are going to be going, how much they plan on making, and how much better their school makes them than their competitors.  Law school applicants go crazy over LSAT scores, undergraduate GPA's, and other 'soft' factors that they use to size each other up.  If you get into the T14, T10, T6, or T3, as they are called (and this is just another example of how number-obsessed law students are), you consider yourself 'set for life'. 

Then, there are the other T's.  The Tier 1 (T), Tier 2 (TT), Tier 3 (TTT), and Teir 4 (TTTT) law schools.  As you can imagine, to the new law school applicant, this is really confusing at first.  However, in a couple days time, you'll learn it because everyone is talking about it. 

What are the difference between law school tier rankings?

First, the Tier 1 is the top 50 law schools.  The top 14, 10, 6, 3, 2, 1, etc. are in this list, but are considered in a league of their own by many.  The tier 1 schools are considered by many to be quasi-elite (the top 14, etc. are considered by many to be elite, even though that may be changing as job prospects are turning out to be not as AMAZING as the students that go to these schools are realizing).   Schools like the mighty Cardozo, University of Washington, UC Berkeley, Boston University, Boston College, UC Hastings, Michigan, etc. are on this list.  Everyone coming out of here makes $160,000!  Right?  Right?

Second comes the Tier 2 (TT) schools.  These are the schools ranked 51 to 100.  Such schools include St. John's, Brooklyn Law School, University of San Francisco, Seattle University, Lewis & Clark, University of Oregon, among others.  Such schools are seen as quasi-quasi-elite (law students always like to put the word 'elite' into everything, as you will notice).  These are schools that are considered to be 'up and coming' or 'gaining speed' by their deans.  These are the schools that you can still get a fine legal education (whatever that means to you) and not have to feel (too) dirty inside.

Third is the third tier (TTT) schools.  Schools like the infamous Drake University, Gonzaga (what's a Gonzaga anyway?) New York Law School, CUNY Law, and a host of others line this classification like the plaque lines your teeth.  Basically it's schools that fall out of the top 100 to 150ish (even though they are not ranked in order by US News).  As you will be realizing, there are a TON of law schools out there, each pumping out hundreds of graduates every year.  Third tier schools are generally considered (or touted) to be quasi-quasi-quasi elite. 

Next and last is the quasi-quasi-quasi-quasi elite fourth tier schools -- Cooley, Florida Coastal, Western New England, Golden Gate University, etc.  Although they are in the bottom of the barrel of accredited law schools, they are still somewhat elite to their students because they seen as better than unaccredited law schools, they cost a lot (and if something costs a lot it MUST be good, right?), and they are law schools, and just being in law school makes you a wonderful human being!  Oh, and these schools are the ones in your e-mail and in your mailbox trying to get you in with fancy pamphlets and smiling faces of intelligent and sexy looking students who are making big money.  Who would not want to go?

"Give yourself a pat on the back, you're law students now!"
-Obligatory speech fodder at a convocation/welcome ceremony for lower ranked law schools.

The Law School Transfer Game

If you did not land in the top school (Yale), there's always the idea of transferring.  You see, law students want to be the very best (like no one ever was), and the hundreds of thousands of students are all vying to be the top student of their graduation year at Yale.  That's the game (with a couple of exceptions).  The game of transferring up the ladder has been introduced, and law schools LOVE it!  Why?  All those scholarships that they give away do not go to transfer students.  That means a student that climbs up from Phoenix School of Law to Touro or makes that arduous climb from Florida Coastal to New England Law: Boston will give up any scholarship money they had AND have to pay full price at the new school.  The schools see this is a great way to make an extra bit of cash.  And thousands of law students want to transfer.  Many will give up scholarships at a school ranked 150-200 to go to a school ranked 97th.  It's a climb up the elite ladder.  Why would you not want to transfer from Cardozo to Fordham, or from Western New England to Seton Hall? 

Rutgers to Brooklyn?  Beam me up scotty!

After Law School

After you are done with law school, you will be vying for jobs.  This is the reason you went in the first place (unless daddy has his own firm, momma's a judge, or you are dying to hang up a shingle).  Many will want to get the highest ranked clerkships.  Going into the working world, many now realize that the firms have their very own pecking order and are ranked just like law schools!  In fact, everything is ranked.  Associates, Partner, Of Counsel, Big Kahuna.  These are terms you will see in the firm.  The numbers game never ends.  Bill so many hours.  Get so many clients.  Where did you work before here?  Can you have that intern scrub the door nobs before he leaves? 

My goal:  to work at a quasi-quasi-quasi-quasi-quasi elite firm.  That is, get a real life legal job!

Class of 2015: Hurry Up and Get Those Applications In!

You will never own property.
You will never own your own home.
You will never pay off your loans.
You will never work at a big firm.
You will never learn how to file a motion.
You will never be able to secure a small business loan.
You will never be able to get a new car.
You will never be able to...

...Welcome to law school. 
Apply today:  http://www.lsac.org

Your future as an elite member of society begins now.  TTTT's are awaiting your applications for the class of 2015.  Do not delay:  Apply today!

For special post-high school and post-undergraduate advice, please see the nearest baby boomer.  They are standing by with great tips on how to MAXIMIZE your EXISTENCE.