Truckin' my way through law school.

To learn some CB lingo, head on over to: http://www.thetruckersreport.com/trucker-slang-and-cb-radio-lingo/

Breaker Breaker, this is Law Rig, anyone else out there?
10-4 Law Rig, this is Mack Daddy.  What's your 20?
Just finishing up this law school run.

Many people wonder why I am still in law school, given that I don't know that I want to practice law.  It is a question I am asked regularly enough that I thought I would let the world know exactly why I am still truckin' my way through law school.

First, I would like to say that when I entered my first year of law school I was a starry eyed 1L who thought law school was the most amazing thing in the world.  I honestly loved briefing cases, learning the 'black letter law' as they called it, and immersing myself in my studies.  I did very well in my first year of law school, as a result.  However, I did not make law review, which was one thing that upset me, and it was part of the reason I grew somewhat complacent during my first semester of being a 2L.  However, even at that time I had no aspirations of quitting law school.  And I knew I was in deep.



I continued to trudge my way through law school, and in the middle of that same semester, I started making this blog.  At first I thought it would be a fun way in which to express my distaste for certain parts of law school.  Some things had begun to annoy me greatly (as is the case with many things in life).  Further, I started to notice other similar blogs about law school.  Some were from kids with rosy glasses and others were from people like Nando, who I stumbled upon.  I read most of his blog entries about different law schools and began thinking about law school a bit differently.  Further, I noticed that my law grades had plummeted.  I began to ask myself some hard questions such as "do I want to do this?"  Further, I did not find my legal internships as enjoyable as I once imagined.  They were nothing like what I saw in the show "Perry Mason" (although I knew they would be different).  I was merely a slave boy working for free.  It was all rather depressing.  However, I figured I would continue through my second year, as I had a lease on an apartment and to quit law school would mean I would be evicted, and that I would not only have dropped out of school, but have an eviction on my record. 


In my second semester of the 2L year I did much better than I did in the first semester.  My grades were somewhat respectable.  That made me feel better, even if it was somewhat meaningless.  It at least showed me that it wasn't me as a person who was a dolt.  And although my grades will not land me a job, I realize that they can at least help my self-esteem, which is worth perhaps more than money.

Now I am about to enter my third year.  A "rising 3L".  I could quit now.  However, I would have to find a job immediately, as I am still paying a small fortune for rent here in New York.  Either that or I can finish the game.  One more year.  I will have the JD, the option to take the bar, the option to do something as far as legal work.  Further, my debt right now is very large.  One more year isn't going to be much of a change as far as it being 'manageable'.  As it stands now, I will have to do IBR (Income Based Repayment) whether or not it's $150k or $200k.  On top of that, I don't mind leaving the US after law school.  I have spent some time in Asia and Europe, as well as Central America, and I know that I could be happy in any of those places.  I have planned on retiring outside of the US for a very long time now.  If I had to leave sooner, I would not bemoan the fact.  Further, I have considered leaving to teach English outside of the US after law school.  Although it's not a glamorous job, it's something I would not mind doing.   In fact, the prospect excites me.

Having weighed all the options for myself, I think the best course of action is to finish.  If I was a 1L still I would have probably dropped out and at least did something else.  However, I am too far in for that now.  So, I shall finish the game, down the boss, and maybe get a little bit of loot, even if it's merely a piece of paper.

I didn't learn the right things...

After looking at the jobs on the school's career site this morning and on Craigslist makes me all the more ready to enlist in the military after I graduate law school.  The idea of working in the private sector no longer appeals to me at all.  I am baffled at the internship "opportunities" that are offered.  People basically want you to be their slave.  Some offer a small stipend of $12/hour so you can really slave for them. 

One example on my college's website of full time labor was a paralegal position for a firm that works with low income households.  Your reward for working for this firm is, of course, being a low income household yourself.  Perhaps they will help you apply for Food Stamps (I have already done this before, so already know the process.)  This job, in New York, NY states: Salary is $31,518 to $34,670 annually with extensive employee benefits.  I suppose that is more than I have ever made, and to be honest, I would be somewhat happy to have a job with that kind of wage, yet at the same time, it would be tough to pay back $200,000+ of college loans on that wage and live in NY.  What would I have left to save in order to buy property, start my own business, or enjoy live?  Is that the cost of a college education?

Another Summer internship I found was quite upsetting, to be honest.  Here's the jist from the ad:

The individual should have a demonstrated commitment to either public interest law, civil rights and/or labor and employment law on behalf of plaintiffs-employees, combating unlawful discrimination in employment, education and housing, First Amendment and Due Process claims/ rights on behalf of civil rights litigants, and/or issues of social/ economic justice.

Also, potential applicants should be interested in working at a law firm where ninety percent (90%) or more of its practice is devoted to litigation in the NY State and federal courts, and in administrative proceedings such us before the EEOC or US Dept. of Labor. A small percentage of work will probably involve assisting in compliance issues, counseling and/or assisting in representing small to medium sized employers located in the NYC metropolitan and Mid-Hudson Valley areas.

The intern would be responsible for the following tasks, which includes but is not limited to: doing intake of and discussion with potential clients; performing legal research (knowledge of WestLaw is highly preferred, but capability in Lexis would suffice although the applicant would have to independently have access to Lexis); drafting legal memoranda and opinions; assist me in bringing on motions, including but not limited to motions for summary judgment and discovery motions (e.g., motions to compel) and in opposing motions to dismiss, summary judgment and discovery motions; substantial document review; deposition transcript review and digesting; and assist me at depositions, trials, court conferences, and hearings.

A Spanish speaking individual is preferred, but knowledge of Spanish is not necessary. Lastly, although much of the work can be done from a remote location, it is preferred that applicants reside in the NYC metropolitan area, and preferably in either NYC or the Mid-Hudson Valley areas (i.e., Westchester; Rockland; Orange; Putnam; Dutchess; Sullivan and/or Ulster Counties).

Sadly, I don't know how to do most of that stuff.  One reason I do not apply for internships now is because I was expected to know all of this stuff at my last job.  Law school does NOT prepare a student to do these things, yet for some reason, the employers expect students to know how.  It's rather upsetting that I will be graduating this year and will have no idea what the hell these things are.  And since I was not in the top 5% of my class I could not get an internship with a large firm that actually has a training program which teaches its interns how to do these things. 

I will be glad when I am done with all this.  I wish I would have learned how to do all these things that I don't know how to do, but it will soon be over and I will be done with it all.  Good riddance.

Independence Day

I am sitting alone in the living room.  The apartment is dark.  The blinds are down, because it is hot.  I find my mind wandering.  I recently interviewed for a fall position at local clinic.  I can't help but wonder, "will I get the position?" 

There are many qualified applicants.  Why would they choose me?  What do I have to offer?  After all, I am not working this summer.  At the same time, I realize that if I don't push myself forward, I will always remain behind.  I do not want to be the kind of law graduate that wallows in self pity because he had trouble finding a job, could not find a job, or had dreams of a large salary.  Instead, I want to do what I can while I am in school, see how well I can do, and make it into something worthwhile. 

Tomorrow is Independence Day in the United States.  July 4th.  For some reason they decided to have it on a Wednesday this year.  There will be fireworks bursting in the air and all sorts of revelry.  I am sure the lawyers will still be working, even if the court houses are closed.  I wonder if I get a job in the legal field after law school, will I be working on July 4th? 

Back in the day I used to go with my family to a place where two rivers met.  It was out in the country.  They had fireworks there, but always did it on the weekend.  A casino put it on.  It was up by an Indian reservation on the west coast.  I always liked going there.  It was nice.  We'd have a picnic, hike to see some ruins, and relax by the water.  It was generally hot out.  Back then I had a lot of grand ideas for my future.  I did not imagine that I would be a lawyer.  Instead, I thought I may one day have my own business or something.  Maybe I'd go into a field that had very little competition, such as Celtic Studies. 

I have not been to the place where the two rivers meet to see the fireworks in many years now.  I wish I could go back to those days and revel in them.  Sometimes we imagine ourselves as doing something and those things turn out just the opposite.  Sometimes we day dream about the future when it's the past that we end up longing for. 

I hope everyone has a nice 4th of July, even if it is on a Wednesday this year.

Visiting family: The Topic of Law School.

I posted before about how I was nervous to go visit family because everyone would be asking me questions about law or saying how rich I would one day become.  However, having been here for a week, only one person has mentioned it in passing.  In fact, nobody has even asked me about law school nor have they mentioned anything else about it.  In fact, after having been away for two years, it's as if they forgot I even go!  It's kind of strange to be honest, but I can't complain too much about it, even though I wonder why people have not mentioned it.

Perhaps these blogs are doing their part in making people realize that law school is something one does not discuss.  Maybe it is a dark topic, such as how much money one makes a year, or how many STDs one carries with them?

Of course, I still have a week here, and things may change.  However, I highly doubt school will be mentioned at all.  Part of me wondered if it's because I come from a very poor family and some may not like me doing school (first in family to do it, blah blah blah).  Maybe it's because I am not too talkative and have not brought it up myself.

I worried for months that people would ask all sorts of questions or ask for legal advice.  However, that being said, some members of my family are just strange and I don't think that they want to discuss such things.  Sometimes when the news came on here and legal topics were mentioned, or when everyone was watching Perry Mason and Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, etc. I wondered if people would mention law school to me.  But nope, they seem to have actually forgot I go to law school!  Isn't that just the darnedest thing?!

I even had a phone interview for an internship and nobody asked a thing about it (even though I ended up getting scared and not answering the phone -- maybe I'll write more about that later).

There was one person, not a family member, but a person here who I met, and he asked about me going to college, and I said I was going to law school.  Here is how it went down.

Him: So what are you planning on doing?
Me: I go to college right now.
Him: For what?
Me: Law.
Him:  Oh, you're going to be a stinkin' lawyer huh?
Me: I don't know, to be honest.

(Keep in mind this guy is a truck driver, who owns a huge beautiful home on a cliff overlooking a valley and mountains below.  He has his own company and obviously does very well at it.)

Him:  Oh yeah?  Then what are you planning on doing?
Me: Well, I can use my degree to do something else (I felt stupid saying this, even though it is technically possible).  Maybe I'll try to work for a non-profit or a company.
Him:  I see.

One more week and I can get back home and enjoy my summer.  Diablo III is out and I am dying to play it. That is the summer I have ahead of me, and it is going to beat the hell out of any unpaid "Internship/slavery" that everyone else is doing.

Recontacted the mentor, but I ask: Why?

At least one of my readers told me to get back in contact with my mentor.  So I did.  I figured there is no harm in at least writing her a letter.  Further, I was honest.  I have not talked to her since this has occurred, and to be honest, part of me wonders what the point is.  Before, I bother with that though, I shall let you read the letter:

TO THE MENTOR
Hello,

I am writing you as I have been bad with keeping in touch with you.  For that I am sorry.  I had a very rough semester, and to be honest, I was somewhat afraid to get back in touch with you due to not having much going for me.  Due to moving and financial aid issues my grades were quite bad.  I did not fail any classes, but I was quite upset to see that I did poorly in a couple of my classes.  Further, I was forced to leave my position in (city) due to trying to find a place to live and being asked to skip class, which I could not do.  I have felt like a failure, and honestly wonder if law school is worth it for me to continue.  I did quite well during my first year, mostly due to hard work.  I know that grades are very important to employers, and have been slowly looking for summer work.  I have also considered focusing on just getting a job instead of trying to be picky about finding something in my field.  Further, I have applied for a couple of clinics and other positions for the fall.  I keep hearing how awful the economy is now and how that even the top performers are not able to find work.  I guess the thing is, it's very disheartening at times.

Anyway, I wrote you as I wanted to update you on things and let you know that I am sorry for not keeping in touch better.

Talk to you soon,

THE REPLY

Dear Terrified Law Student, Let's get together real soon and schedule a call even sooner. Can I meet you or call you some time today? Believe me, I know that life can be tough. But I've found that it helps to talk. I'm here for you.

-Mentor

***


First, the more I study and the more I think about it, the more I realize I do not want to practice law.  I would rather work in a non-profit or, hell, even barely subsist than deal with that day in and day out.  Second, I am worn out from all this hassle.  Third, I am figuring that I'd rather teach English abroad in Asia (a place I have traveled to and enjoyed) or join the military (enlisted, not officer) than be a lawyer.  Fourth, I continue hearing from my family that "they are so proud of me."

I have not posted on this blog in a while.  I figured that I should focus on my studies.  I should read every page given to me.  I should attend every class.  I should outline myself.  I should focus on school.  Lucky for me I was not called on this semester, which was nice.  Instead, I was able to completely focus on my classes.  But in the end, I still think "what's the point?" 

A few months back I posted a letter my grandparents wrote to me about how I should not drop out.  I have not spoken to them since that letter and, honestly, am quite angry that they mentioned it.  Further, other members of my family have bombarded me with comments such as "you are going to do so great!"  "we are so proud of you!"  "Terran (a psychic who gave me a palm reading during my childhood) always said you would go far!" (More on this in another post, as I don't believe in psychics). 

The truth is, I am quite angry.  Next week (5 days actually), I am going back home for the first time in two years (since starting law school).  I am not ready for the bombardment of questions (the inquisition). 

Yes, I got back to the mentor, but we have not met again (nor have we talked on the phone).  Further, the more I think about it, the more I do not want to practice law, so what is the point of calling the mentor?  What is the point of meeting up with her?  I don't know. 

One year left.  It's going to be interesting.

My Downward Spiral

Back when I was in high school I used to fall asleep to the sounds of Nine Inch Nail's album "The Downward Spiral".  It is probably NIN's finest work (tied in my opinion with the two disc set that has the song The Nothing, on it.

Anyway, I want to share my Law School Downward Spiral with you all.

I tear you down I use you up.  Mr. Self Destruct....
This semester I have trudged by, wondering what will be the reality of my life after law school.  Some days, let me tell you, I am drowning in deep depression.  The law school world can be a terrifying place.  The legal economy is literally falling apart at record speeds.  University of Nebraska School of Law's Space Program will not provide solace for us.  We can not hope to escape it.

Anyway, at the beginning of the last semester, things looked so promising.  I got a mentor who has a very impressive background.  I had a legal internship (the wall scrubbing gig I wrote about), and was feeling very good about myself.  Well, I quit the scrubbing job, which made it so I did not want to talk to the mentor.  I was afraid she would not be impressed, so I stopped replying to her e-mails.  It is sad too, because I thought that she could help me out.  But now, fast forward about 4 months later, I want to talk to her, but am terrified to.  And now, I sit here, wondering why I should study?  Why should I rip myself apart with the knowledge that NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I will NOT find a legal job.  It is so disheartening.

The ABA does not care though.  They continue to accredit schools left and right.  Space Law programs keep popping up like STDS.  Animal Law, while admiral, is, sadly, useless for the masses.  I wonder if I am too early.  MMORPG law would have really been my true calling.  Diablo III is out this May.  Perhaps I am lucky that it comes out after finals.  Then again, during finals all I will be thinking about is how much I wish I could play Diablo III........

You tear me down you use me up.  Mr. Self Destruct...


I should have went to University of Nebraska.  The only space law program in the country.  I should have blasted off one day into space.  NASA's lawyer.  Working with Worf, and Data, commander Chikotay, and Barclay.  Oh, Commander Riker, I wish I could rendezvous in space with you.