Truckin' my way through law school.

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Breaker Breaker, this is Law Rig, anyone else out there?
10-4 Law Rig, this is Mack Daddy.  What's your 20?
Just finishing up this law school run.

Many people wonder why I am still in law school, given that I don't know that I want to practice law.  It is a question I am asked regularly enough that I thought I would let the world know exactly why I am still truckin' my way through law school.

First, I would like to say that when I entered my first year of law school I was a starry eyed 1L who thought law school was the most amazing thing in the world.  I honestly loved briefing cases, learning the 'black letter law' as they called it, and immersing myself in my studies.  I did very well in my first year of law school, as a result.  However, I did not make law review, which was one thing that upset me, and it was part of the reason I grew somewhat complacent during my first semester of being a 2L.  However, even at that time I had no aspirations of quitting law school.  And I knew I was in deep.



I continued to trudge my way through law school, and in the middle of that same semester, I started making this blog.  At first I thought it would be a fun way in which to express my distaste for certain parts of law school.  Some things had begun to annoy me greatly (as is the case with many things in life).  Further, I started to notice other similar blogs about law school.  Some were from kids with rosy glasses and others were from people like Nando, who I stumbled upon.  I read most of his blog entries about different law schools and began thinking about law school a bit differently.  Further, I noticed that my law grades had plummeted.  I began to ask myself some hard questions such as "do I want to do this?"  Further, I did not find my legal internships as enjoyable as I once imagined.  They were nothing like what I saw in the show "Perry Mason" (although I knew they would be different).  I was merely a slave boy working for free.  It was all rather depressing.  However, I figured I would continue through my second year, as I had a lease on an apartment and to quit law school would mean I would be evicted, and that I would not only have dropped out of school, but have an eviction on my record. 


In my second semester of the 2L year I did much better than I did in the first semester.  My grades were somewhat respectable.  That made me feel better, even if it was somewhat meaningless.  It at least showed me that it wasn't me as a person who was a dolt.  And although my grades will not land me a job, I realize that they can at least help my self-esteem, which is worth perhaps more than money.

Now I am about to enter my third year.  A "rising 3L".  I could quit now.  However, I would have to find a job immediately, as I am still paying a small fortune for rent here in New York.  Either that or I can finish the game.  One more year.  I will have the JD, the option to take the bar, the option to do something as far as legal work.  Further, my debt right now is very large.  One more year isn't going to be much of a change as far as it being 'manageable'.  As it stands now, I will have to do IBR (Income Based Repayment) whether or not it's $150k or $200k.  On top of that, I don't mind leaving the US after law school.  I have spent some time in Asia and Europe, as well as Central America, and I know that I could be happy in any of those places.  I have planned on retiring outside of the US for a very long time now.  If I had to leave sooner, I would not bemoan the fact.  Further, I have considered leaving to teach English outside of the US after law school.  Although it's not a glamorous job, it's something I would not mind doing.   In fact, the prospect excites me.

Having weighed all the options for myself, I think the best course of action is to finish.  If I was a 1L still I would have probably dropped out and at least did something else.  However, I am too far in for that now.  So, I shall finish the game, down the boss, and maybe get a little bit of loot, even if it's merely a piece of paper.

Finding a Job as a Law Student

I got friends in high places, where the money pours in and the women chase their non-existent blues away.  They'll be okay...

Sometimes I look at my life and I look at the things which are lacking.  I have never worked a real job, nor have I ever had a real income (I once worked part time at $13.25 an hour which was really nice at the time).  However, that being said, the idea of working in the private sector scares me greatly.  After some of the places I have worked, I have found myself unhappy.  For example, in the jobs I have found myself at, people tend to only fend for themselves, and really not care about the feelings of the employee.  At the same time, the employee is told that the customer, no matter how wrong, is always right.  No matter what they say or do, they are right, and we are wrong. 

I want to change my outlook on life.  I do not want to think that my life is lacking.  I do not want to think that I would be happier in some position making money.  I tell myself that I would one day like a piece of land or something like that (I am starting to get sick of apartment living).  However, I feel at the current rate of my earnings in life, that is a long time off.  I mean, if I can't even get a summer job at Starbucks, how am I supposed to bring in a solid income?  What was the point of my Bachelor's degree if I can't use it to find a barista job?  It is really annoying to me, as I spent a lot of time and money, and lived in relative squalor to achieve it.  After it was said and done, the friends I had in high school who decided to not go to college are making far more than I do.  It is crazy, to say the least.

For example, this semester I will get $11,000 in living expenses in loans.  My rent is $1,300, which is far more than I wanted to pay, but it took me a long time to get the place I have here in NY, as I did not have a cosigner, I have no job and income, and every other landlord I talked to said they would not take a student.  For five months that comes out to be $6,500 in rent.  Then I need books and money to get to school, food and utilities (I don't eat much, nor do I go out and 'enjoy life').  Further, I will need to put some money aside for next summer, as I don't get aid in the summer (will be graduated) and what am I to do then?  How will I pay rent without any money coming in?

I find myself thinking that even if I was lucky enough to make $35,000 a year I would be doing far better than I ever have.  In fact, after being in college most of my adult life, I have never once had that kind of money come in during a year.  With my frugal lifestyle I could probably save up something, and on top of that, with an income I could probably get a cheaper apartment.  Since I don't drive and rarely go out, I would be saving more.  If anything, college has taught me to be frugal and cheap.  I have realized I don't require much to live on, nor do I find myself wanting much.  I have realized that most material possessions are a waste of time and money.  Yet, at the same time, I would like to make some type of money.  Is it really that hard to find a decent job?  Hell, I am at the point right now that if I could find something, almost anything for $35,000 I would quit law school in a heartbeat.

In a heartbeat...

My Downward Spiral

Back when I was in high school I used to fall asleep to the sounds of Nine Inch Nail's album "The Downward Spiral".  It is probably NIN's finest work (tied in my opinion with the two disc set that has the song The Nothing, on it.

Anyway, I want to share my Law School Downward Spiral with you all.

I tear you down I use you up.  Mr. Self Destruct....
This semester I have trudged by, wondering what will be the reality of my life after law school.  Some days, let me tell you, I am drowning in deep depression.  The law school world can be a terrifying place.  The legal economy is literally falling apart at record speeds.  University of Nebraska School of Law's Space Program will not provide solace for us.  We can not hope to escape it.

Anyway, at the beginning of the last semester, things looked so promising.  I got a mentor who has a very impressive background.  I had a legal internship (the wall scrubbing gig I wrote about), and was feeling very good about myself.  Well, I quit the scrubbing job, which made it so I did not want to talk to the mentor.  I was afraid she would not be impressed, so I stopped replying to her e-mails.  It is sad too, because I thought that she could help me out.  But now, fast forward about 4 months later, I want to talk to her, but am terrified to.  And now, I sit here, wondering why I should study?  Why should I rip myself apart with the knowledge that NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I will NOT find a legal job.  It is so disheartening.

The ABA does not care though.  They continue to accredit schools left and right.  Space Law programs keep popping up like STDS.  Animal Law, while admiral, is, sadly, useless for the masses.  I wonder if I am too early.  MMORPG law would have really been my true calling.  Diablo III is out this May.  Perhaps I am lucky that it comes out after finals.  Then again, during finals all I will be thinking about is how much I wish I could play Diablo III........

You tear me down you use me up.  Mr. Self Destruct...


I should have went to University of Nebraska.  The only space law program in the country.  I should have blasted off one day into space.  NASA's lawyer.  Working with Worf, and Data, commander Chikotay, and Barclay.  Oh, Commander Riker, I wish I could rendezvous in space with you.  

Visiting Family for the First Time Since Starting Law School...

I am now in my second year of law school and this summer I will be going to visit my family.  The last time I visited them was before I left for law school.  It has been almost a year and a half, and while I have not had to constantly hear questions about being a future lawyer, I have been asked for some legal advice on occasion as well as heard the comments regarding how I am going to be the first in the family to be a lawyer and what not.

I am sure most of you hear something like:  "it will be good to have an attorney in the family!"  That is, unless there is already one in the family.  There is not one in my family.  I will be the first.  It is truly a thrilling time for the family.  A real treat for us all.

Back when I started this blog, I wrote a post called Don't Drop Out! in which I said that I mentioned to my family that I was considering quitting law school.  After a while of not commenting on this topic, it sort of died off.  I have not heard as much about law school since then, however, I am kind of dreading going back to where I grew up and being bombarded with questions about the law and my future legal career.  I have in the past been asked countless times by people what my concentration is going to be.

What kind of lawyer are you going to be?
Me:  My goal is to be the employed kind. 

What kind though?  Don't you get a choice, like ambulance chaser or litigator?
Me:  I... Maybe that one.

Seriously, though.  I am dreading the trip back.  What ever happened to the golden days of college where one went back home during a break in their studies and felt good about what they were doing.  You know, the first in the family, telling everyone about the joys of college.  About how we were learning so much.  About how we were excited to start work.  All I can think about is how scary it is going to be in a year and a half.  About how everyone expects me to find a good job, and how I don't even know if I will be able to find one at all.

Perhaps those 'golden days of college' are a myth.  Or maybe it's reserved for those Harvard and Stanford types.  Not us second, third and fourth tier law students.  But most parents don't know the difference.  I tried to explain it once to someone, but they just shrugged and pretty much said 'a law degree is a law degree'.  I remember at the orientation how someone who was talking about the joys of law school said:

"Don't worry too much about your class rank.  Even if you are dead last you'll still be called Esquire."

While that is true, is the title worth the money spent?  It's more of an honorary title if anything.  And, you still have to pass the bar in order to get it.  If you are dead last that might be a problem.  Of course the law schools don't tell you that. 

I have a feeling that the remark above encompass much of what my family thinks of law school.  It doesn't matter how well you do as long as you graduate, and if you do, you're set for life.  No matter what many of us tell our families, it is not believed.  And when we can't find jobs, and we try to say, "I told you so," they see us as the failure.  Or maybe they see it as bad luck.  After all, those lawyers on TV have jobs, and there are law offices everywhere!  How can there not be enough jobs?! 

I can't help but wonder how many other people have gone through or are going through a similar situation.  I am sure I am not in the minority.

Law School "Success" Stories!

This may be "the firm" that the lucky graduate found work at.

Tomorrow my school will be hosting a law school success session in which students from previous years class will come in and tell about how they found government, private, and firm jobs.  Well, it said "a firm job" which tells me that the graduating class of 2012 had one student who found a job in a law firm!  This is unprecedented and will make for some interesting discussion.  If hearing how a few students made it after law school is not enticing enough, they will be serving pizza.  Everyone is encouraged to attend!!!

"Get the inside perspective on finding a post graduate job from a panel of recent graduates.  Hear about their paths to success, including the steps they took throughout law school to position themselves for permanent and fulfilling post-graduate employment.  Our panelists will include graduates who landed positions in-house, in government and at a firm.  All classes are encouraged to attend.

Pizza will be served."

I don't know if I will attend this.  I already know that some students are able to find jobs after law school.  The fact that the school is encouraging us all to attend makes the situation seem all the more dire.  It's as if the school is saying "it's bad out there.  It's real bad.  But there is some hope." 

However, I honestly doubt that the law school will state that some of these individuals are connected.  That they were very likely on law review and/or moot court.   They could have graduated 20 years ago for all I know!  Furthermore, I expect a big banner stating a disclaimer that their results in no way guarantee similar results (even though we all know that-right?).  To be honest, I think that this is probably a method in which to make us feel better about paying very expensive tuition and shut us up for a couple of weeks.  However, I am reminded how bleak the legal economy is every single day in almost every class.  I hear the professors speak of how good they have it and I can only nod.  Yes, they do have it good.  Real good.

I have a feeling that most people are going to go to this thing and hear a handful of success stories and walk out feeling like a million bucks.  They are going to go to the nearest bar, get drunk, miss class the next day with a nasty hangover, sit in bed and smile because they heard some good news.  They may go to TLS (2012 award winner for worst web-forum) and tell the world that they are going to be big firm lawyers because ONE person showed up at the panel who worked in a firm.  And if that doesn't happen, he/she will find solace, because another panelist got into government. 

No, the panel will not mention that the government worker was the son of a judge, nor will it mention that the person in the firm was the daughter of a partner who figured that a top 100 school was good enough for her to work in the family firm.  It will not mention that all the unconnected people were probably in the top 10% of their class.  The connected individuals will likely say that they were in the bottom half or something to get the people really excited.

In the end, it should be a good way to advertise to those who are already paying tuition.