The Best NEW YORK law schools!

What are the best schools in New York?  Have you ever wondered how New York schools would hold up against each other?  And I'm not talking U.S. News and World Report Ranks.  I'm talking law school versus law school.  Real world education.  If you want to go to law school in New York, you have to know what schools would win if put up against each other.

The Schools

Fordham
New York Law School
St. John's
Cardozo
Brooklyn
Columbia
NYU
Touro
CUNY
Rutgers

Round 1

Fordham vs. Cardozo
St. John's vs. Brooklyn
NYU vs. Columbia
Rutgers vs. Touro
New York Law School vs. CUNY

Results:

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FORDHAM versus CARDOZO

It's a religious war against the Jesuit giant, Fordham, second in power only to Georgetown in the Jesuit world and the Jewish Juggernaut, Cardozo!  This is a serious battle between two of the best law schools in the world.  Both of these schools are firmly in the first tier of popular rankings.  Both schools have excellent employment prospects.  Both schools have God on their side.  Who shall win?  That's the question.

The battle is close, perhaps the closest, but the champion is -- Fordham: barely.  For location, Cardozo roasted Forhdam, but for jobs after school, Fordham has a slight edge.  Even though Cardozo is ONE OF THE BEST schools for employment prospects due to the connections that this school has with law firms, the Fordham name -- and the fact that it was almost at one time an Ivy League school, makes Fordham the victor.

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ST. JOHN'S UNIVERSITY versus BROOKLYN

"Before retiring, I just had to help St. John's destroy Brooklyn"

Another religious giant goes up against a non-religious school.  These two schools are incredibly close in rank and they both have some serious fighting power.  The only school in Brooklyn battles the king of Queens.  St. John's sports an amazing campus with arguably the best college sports teams in the nation.  Brooklyn offers... well, like Cardozo, amazing employment prospects due to a huge network of alumni.  Jobs are not everything, however.  The result...

What's this?  Holy Canoli!  A tie!!!!  That's right folks!  A rematch is in order! 

Round Two:  St John's says a prayer, brings the pope in and DESTROYS Brooklyn Law!

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NYU versus COLUMBIA

The New York MASTODONS are in engaged in a row right here folks!  This fight promises to be BLOODY!  Both of these schools are renowned the world over as the best schools on the planet!  NYU: the UC Berkeley of New York, and Columbia, the BIG BOY himself.  Both schools GUARANTEE their graduates jobs, women, and fast cars.  Both schools are godless heathens in the world of the law.  There is no pope to save either one!  Who shall win?  Who shall win?

Jobs: TIE.  Both schools give jobs like men in vans give candy to small children.
Nearby Food: NYU.  I LOVE FELAFEL!!!!
Prestige Factor: Columbia University -- Ivy League.
Campus: NYU has more trees but Columbia looks really cool in an urbane kind of way.

Winner:  Columbia, by 1/34th of an inch.

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RUTGERS vs. TOURORutgers and Touro.  Neither are located in the city.  Both are a wee bit out.  But both pack a wollup!  Rutgers is New Jersey's MOST ELITE school.  It's known across the country.  Touro, not so much.  But like Cardozo, it has a network based on an alumni base that will rock your socks off.  Touro is the creme de la creme of Long Island.  Rutgers has sex appeal due to it's location in Newark. 

Winner: Touro baby!  Oh yeah, I love it when an underdog wins!!!

NEW YORK LAW SCHOOL versus CITY UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORKThis just in!!  Fresh off the presses!  New York Law School has taken Manhattan back from the muppets!  KERMIT THE FROG AND FRIENDS HAVE JUST BEEN EVICTED BABY!  The biggest law school value on Earth, CUNY, may have something to say about that.  Sporting a new campus being built in Long Island City and a basically FREE tuition makes CUNY a steal.  However, NYLS has crazy digs in one of Manhattan's hottest hoods!  Add to that the fact that JUDGE JUDY herself is an alumi makes this school somewhat elite in non-law school circles. 

Further, it's unamerican to go against the law school that is closest to the World Trade Center.  Therefore, if you are a patriot and love this country you HAVE to vote New York Law School as the winner in this bloodbath.

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Round 2.

Fordham vs. Columbia
New York Law School vs. Touro

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FORDHAM versus COLUMBIA

This is going to be something special.  We got Columbia, the Ivy League Leviathan up against Feisty Fordham!  Fordham is the obvious underdog here.  Columbia has got its fair share of victories in the school wars and Fordham is fumin'!  Right off the bat we have two schools located on the outskirts of Central Park, both on the west side of Manhattan.  Right away we see that both of these schools are serious contenders for the best school in New York.  Right away we see...

Cheapest Nearby Apartments: Columbia
Nearby Indian Restaurants: Fordham
Better Places to Stand for the Macy's Parade: Fordham
More Subway Stops Close by:  Fordham

Fordham is the victor!!

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NEW YORK LAW SCHOOL versus TOURO

It's unamerican to go against the law school that is closest to the World Trade Center.  Therefore, if you are a patriot and love this country you HAVE to vote New York Law School as the winner in this bloodbath.


 







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THE FINAL ROUND!!!!

FORDHAM versus NEW YORK LAW SCHOOL

New York Law School not only has some of the best food within a close vicinity of the school.  It is close to a REDONKULOUS amount of subway stops.  FOITHER, it is within a stones throw of the brand spanking new World Trade Center building that is being finished right as we speak. 

Fordham may have the sex appeal of being near Central Park, but there is absolutely no way in hell it can compete with the fact that JUDGE JUDY herself is an ALUMNI BILLIONARE of this school.  When you ask a non-law school student who they think of when they think of the most powerful lawyer in the world, you will get JUDGE JUDY EVERY SINGLE TIME.  From the television sets that play in the department of social services to the billboards in Bangladesh, Judge Judy is EVERYWHERE.  With an alumni like that you have to know beyond any shadow of a doubt that the winner of the BEST OF THE BEST OF NEW YORK is, by miles and miles is without any question -- without any second guessing -- without even a modicum of doubt -- N E W Y O R K L A W S C H O O L! 

Yes, New York Law School was DESTINED to win this.  Who would not hire an individual who went to school, learning in the same rooms as Judge Judy?  Who can doubt the political and even PATRIOTIC power that the school that is the closest to the World Trade Center holds? 

Who can honestly doubt that the BEST LAW SCHOOL IN NEW YORK CITY is NEW YORK LAW SCHOOL?

THE ULTIMATE VICTORY IN A BLOODBATH DEATHMATCH:  NEW YORK LAW SCHOOL.