Are you looking for love in law school, or have you graduated law school and wonder if any woman/man in her right mind will take you? Well, I have some thoughts on the subject. Before I begin I want to state that these are mainly my perceptions, and they may be wrong. Further, I am up to being challenged on them, so if you disagree and have anything to add, go ahead and put it in the comments section.
It seems that today being in a relationship is of the utmost importance. We see it all the time in the media, on movies, and in the books we read. The idea of being alone is a miserable thought to many of us who crave the intimacy of some kind of partnership with another living breathing human being. Being alone, society has told us, is a curse. I disagree. For some people, being single is a great thing. There are many individuals who have gone on to do great things with their lives and have been single. Further, many people have found happiness being single. However, that does not help those who truly yearn for some kind of mate.
So, say you are in law school and looking for a partner. Where should you be looking? In the classroom, outside of the classroom? Should you look in the law review area (that's where the real geniuses hang out)? Should you look in the law school cafeteria? Well, personally, I would never date another law student. Well, I should not say never, but I would be incredibly careful about doing so. First of all, one thing I have noticed about many (not all, but many) people in law school is that they think very, very highly of themselves. Some will outright say that they are amongst the smartest people in society (just because they finished their first year of law school). I would not want someone who incorrectly thinks that they are superior in such a way. They say confidence turns on the opposite sex, but that is not confidence. That's more akin to an ego that has got out of control.
Further, some would consider the debt level of the person they were dating, especially if one is marriage minded. Do you want to go into a marriage with huge debt? Personally, with the debt I carry, this would not be a huge issue to me. I realize that if I was to double it, it will still be almost impossible to pay off. Further, having a life partner, and someone you love and cherish for the rest of your life, is worth more than a legal education. So, if I took on $200,000 of debt for law school, why not take on an extra $200,000 (or more) for someone that I can spend the rest of my life with?
I would consider looking outside of law school for a partner. Some say that older women do not find a law student or lawyer to be that great of a thing anymore. Sure, an unemployed lawyer is not going to appeal to some women. Many women do want a man who makes good money. However, money is not everything, and there are many women out there who just want someone who they can be a partner with. These are the kind of women I would search for. Even a person making $200k a year can become disabled or fired. If the partner would leave me over such a thing, then I would not want to be with that person. Further, I don't think that there's anything wrong with finding a woman from the type of background where she would be impressed by a law student or lawyer. Just because a woman does not make a great amount of money or have a impressive education doesn't mean she can't be an amazing person. In fact, I have found women from these types of backgrounds to be more 'real' and accepting.
One other piece of advice is to not chase that partner away with your lamenting over high debt. Although you may have incredible debt levels (I do), I do not lose sleep over it, nor would I make my partner feel fear over it. I know that I have to do something about the debt I have taken on, and making myself scared over it, or making my partner scared over it won't change a thing. I am reminded of Tuvok on Star Trek: Voyager who states that lamenting over something will not change what is already there. I have my whole life ahead of me to correct the debt, and even if I take it to my grave, it can not take away my chance to have an amazing relationship with another human being.
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