Derailed at my law school II: The Return to the Dean

Derailed at my law school II: The Return of the to the Dean

Continued from the previous post, found here.

I must admit, I thought hard about the offer of being a member of the law review.  That, and I want to graduate in the best standing possible with my school.  Stories have been told 'round the campfire of the dean helping out people find jobs.  Of course, these are generally people with tip top GPAs, but I figured I could maybe make the dean happy and tell him I would quit this blog.  But, as things turned out, the dean said "the offer no longer stands" when I went into his office.  Further, the dean stated, "the only journal that has space is the Legal Policy Journal."  I don't even know what that journal is about.  What does that even mean? 

So, I walked out of his office with my head down.  I made my way to the elevator and saw a girl going to talk to him.  I asked her if she was going to see the dean.  She nodded at me and said that she was getting a letter of recommendation from him.  She had worked for him in the past.  I could not help but just shake my head.  It must be nice to be in good standing with a dean of a top 150 ranked law school.

Later that night, I laid in bed, feeling down in the dumps.  You know that feeling when you want to cry but you don't have the strength to do so?  Well, that was how I felt.  I was just laying there, completely naked and cold (having trouble with the heat, but I can't get myself to wear clothing at night.  It's so constricting).  I actually remember grabbing an issue of the journal of legal policy a while back, so I looked under my bed, where I keep a lot of old law papers and found it.  It was just sitting there, collecting dust.  I opened it and started reading.  I continued to read.  In fact, I spent a couple of hours reading through the entire journal.  There was an entry by one of the professors on reform of prison policy at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.  There was another article by a student who talked about the policy implications of freedom of choice and the illegality of ferrets in California.  Another student wrote a 14 page article on how policy has been shaped during the Regan administration and how it parallels the proposed policy changes of Romney, if elected. 

I wondered what I would have wrote about.  The thing about these articles is that the law students who wrote them are now considered published writers.  That must be a proud feeling, to know that you are published.  I think it's the holy grail for some of us to get our work noticed.  I have been in many courses where professors share law review articles with the class and talk about them.  I can't imagine the thrill I would have if a professor shared my law review article with his class.  But, what would I write about?  What could I possibly say that has not already been said? 

 I put the journal down and finally, after a few minutes of mulling the possibilities in my head, fell asleep.  The next morning I awoke, having dreamt about high school and telling all my classmates that I was a law student.  In the dreams the students from my high school class surrounded me as I told them tales of the Socratic Method, the money that I could make according to the law school propaganda, and how I was "learning so much!"  One of my loser classmates, who was doing low-budget 'nascar' style driving on a ranch that was set up as an illegal racing operation was making around $10,000 a year.  He lived in a dilapidated trailer near a sewage treatment plant.  His parents must have been so proud.  I remember this little fiend from my days of school.  He was always so gruff and tough acting.  He walked tall and proud, somewhat of a bully to the others.  He always thought he was right, even though he was dead wrong.  He was popular in sports, not because he was good, but because he was big.  In the dream he got what he deserved.  In real life he owns a bar and probably pulls in at least $100,000 a year.

There was this girl that I always had a crush on in the dream and she was very impressed by everything I said.  I told her I was going to be on a law journal and I wrote a piece about the white house's rules on how many pets can be kept by the president.  There was something in the dream about "the president can keep a dog, but it can be no bigger than a collie, and he can not have a guinea pig."  Of course, it seemed really intelligent in the dream.  What really makes it strange though was the fact that every one of us were characters from the play "CATS."



A woman begging with a baby on the subway may make well over $200,000 a year.

The waking world is never as good as the dream world.  I found myself on the subway going towards my law school when a lady with a baby walked by with a sign asking for money.  The child was strapped to mother while mother made her rounds from car to car.  I noticed that people were giving her dollar bills.  In fact, there were two to three pieces of "paper money" handed to the mother on just that car.  The woman was on the car for maybe a minute.  At that rate, she could have been pulling in $180 an hour.  Saying she works six hours a day, and does this 200 days a year, she would bring in $218,000 a year tax free.  Will I bring in that kind of money after EIGHT YEARS of schooling?  Who knows?  Anyway, that was my thought as I saw this taking place. 

Noted, she can only do this while the baby is an infant.  However, she could be babysitting another person's child and be making money on top of the money she is making. 

I finally made it to school, after calculating the financial affairs of this woman.  I made my way up to the classroom where I would partake in a class about bankruptcy.  Reminded that it does not exist for student loan debt, public or private, I felt myself daydreaming back to the night before where I read the policy journal.  I would go talk to the dean.

Your type is not needed on our law review.

In the dean's office, I was told that he had no place for me on any law review, policy or otherwise.  I asked him if there was any way I could get on.  "Yes, you can grade on during your first year of law school or write on."
"But I am a 3L," I replied, reminding him that I was nearing graduation.
"We do sometimes let some students retake law school.  If you are interested we may have a spot for you."
"But I would have take out more loans," I said, flabergasted that I was actually considering this idea.
"Yes, you would.  But you could get better grades because you already know the material.  You could gain more experience in clinics, and you could even be on law review or moot court, but not both.  Your GPA would still reflect your past grades, though.  It's up to you."
"I don't want to start over.  I don't want to owe another $250,000 in loans."
"If you are not willing to put in the time to be a good lawyer, then your type is not needed or wanted on our law review.  Now, if you'd please, I have some work to finish.  I am actually writing a law review article right now."

I left, feeling somewhat angry and somewhat dead inside.  I found myself not even caring about my grades, wanting to just skip class until finals.  I found myself feeling like a loser.  Sadly, everyone else at the school just loves this dean, but to me he seems arrogant and unworthy of his lofty title.

So, I walked down stairs and headed out into the court yard before turning around, heading back up the stairs and walking back into the dean's office.  And I said, believe it or not:

"I have paid over $100,000 to attend your institution.  I have given almost three entire years of my life.  I have been told at the beginning I would be making a large sum of money just for the fact that I attended this school.  I was told that being a lawyer would make me more marketable.  I was told that the sky was the limit for me.  I was told even if I was in the bottom of my class, I would still be a lawyer.  I spent so much time engaged in my studies.  I spent hours bettering myself through internships and clinics.  I took the courses that I was expected to take.  I followed every rule other than posting an ad for my blog on your bathroom wall.  And I didn't even do that because I was intercepted.  Then I was told I could not have my blog anymore.  You tried to take that away and you offered me a space on your law review.  You told me to think about it, but when I did think about it and decided I was interested, you pulled that offer out from under me.  Then I came back and I pleaded with you to be told my type was not wanted. 

Well, I will tell you what.  I don't care anymore.  I would not take a spot even on your most prestigious law review!  Why?  Because my blog, LAWSCHOOLFAIL(dot)com is my law review.  I am the editor in chief.  I choose what gets published.  I have more readers on my blog than your law review probably has!  You may think that your students are just clamoring to pick up each and every issue of your rag, but to be honest, I picked up one copy a few months back and I still see a stack of those in the library, untouched.  You are scared, because I pulled a blog out of my butt and had a lot more to say than you could think of.  So what that a few professors will pull one of your writings from the pages and talk about it.  That's just a filler.  A professor can't talk about torts or contracts for three hours at a time.  Do you really think that it takes 3 hours to discuss battery?  If so you are fooling yourself!  I have one semester left after these finals are done.  Don't you even bother sending me a donation package until the school hires a new dean.  You are a sad pathetic little man and I don't want to see you again for the rest of my law school career.  I will not be going to the graduation, instead, I will be working on my blog.  Yes, that's right.  I am going to PUMP UP production!  I am going to let the words flow!  I am going to show the world that nobody tells me what rights I do have and what rights I don't have!  I am a human being.  I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!"

Vanity of Vanities!

You are unique.  Outside projections are irrelevant!

Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities!  All is vanity!  What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? What does a man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?  A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever.  The sun rises and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises.  The wind blows to the south, and goes round to the north; and on its circuits the wind returns.  All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow there they flow again.  All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, and ear filled with hearing.  What has been, is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; and there is nothing new under the sun.

So you are probably thinking at this point that I am just some Bible-thumper.  So what?  What's wrong with a little Bible thumping now and then? 

I can't help but wondering what the point of making all this excess money is.  I am not saying that there is anything wrong with making a lot of money.  Some people end up making a lot of money.  However, spending your life lamenting not making $100,000 or more seems, well, silly to me.  What would you use all that money on?  Enlarging your penis? 

You got to learn to love yourself!

Sometimes when I go out I see people wearing Louis Vuitton shoes.  Personally, I loathe that stuff.  What's the point of wearing those?  To advertise for some company?  To show off that you can afford "quasi-luxury goods" like everyone else?  Yet, these are very popular with people, from those barely affording their apartment to those rockin' the campus of my law school. 

What is the point of it?  It truly is vanity, whether or not you believe the Bible.  I ask myself, "would my life be so terrible if I only made a small pittance for the rest of my days?"  Of course not!  I can still do anything I dream of.  Anything!  Why should I cry in the night if I don't bring in the big money?  Why should I lament the days past, wishing I would have done something different?  Why?  So I could afford to be a shopaholic and buy needless items?  So I could "impress" other people with what I own?  Do I really need to impress others with outward things?  Shouldn't I be more concerned with my inward qualities, and who I am? 

One can live an amazing life, even if they make very little money.  It takes some thought and planning, but perhaps that's why frugal people enjoy being frugal.  It doesn't mean going without, it means being creative.  Sure, we won't wear Gucci shoes, but why would we want to?  We may not have a "smart" phone, but I think cell phones are nothing more than a modern ball and chain.  A $25 a month pay-as-you-go phone is superior.  A phone is a phone.  If you are spending hours on it online or "texting" you are probably doing life wrong. 

The masses end up looking the same...

Many people will read this wrong (reading comprehension is at an all time low), but I want to say again this is not an attack on money.  Some very "lucky" and intelligent people will make a lot of money in life.  Some others who are very skilled or who did the "right" things will make a lot of money.  This does not make them bad people.  I am not saying that I would not love to make a lot of money myself.  However, I don't see the point of making a lot of money to blow on outward appearances.  I know that young people care immensely what others think of them.  Self-esteem is also at a crushingly low point in our society.  People honestly believe that they can "show off" enough to make their self-image rise.  But that doesn't work.  After trying for so long you still end up hating yourself.  You think that by "impressing" others you will "win the day."  But, what about as you grow old?  How depressing it must be to not like yourself and then grow older, frail, and see your body fall apart before your eyes!  How depressing it must be to spend your youth despising yourself like so many do.  I honestly feel for these people that spend, spend, spend because they truly hate themselves.  You don't need to look pretty to others to be loved.  You are unique.

I see many people out and about where I live wearing nice clothing.  But, they are just masses of people to me.  I don't take notice of any one individual.  But I am sure that many of these individuals spent a lot of money, time, and effort into making themselves stand out and look superior to everyone else.  But they all look the same to me!  Many are wearing the same things.  Gucci shoes are not impressive when a good segment of the population is wearing them.  Many are fake, anyway, and you can rarely tell a fake from a real one from a distance anyway!  I could never be impressed by anything with a Louis Vuitton logo.  People that try to thrust their "wealth" out at others futilely do so unless they are at the very top of the wealth spectrum.  And in that case, I don't see those types out and about usually. 

Imagine yourself in 40 years...

When you accept yourself and your spot in the world, knowing you can advance it due to your own abilities and your own skills, you will be happy.  As long as you moan about how you should have done better, or how you wish more people would notice you, you will feel angry about life.  Many men seem to think that they can impress women by outward appearance.   That may work in the short run, but it will not bring about a lasting relationship.  Many who think that being poor disqualifies them from marriage are thinking backwards.  It's not being poor that disqualifies one from being married, it's attitude.  Why spend so much time trying to impress women with outward things when a woman often wants a man who has a good attitude towards life and is someone that they will feel comfortable growing old with? 


Some may read this as saying that it does not matter how you look.  I never said that.  It is important to be clean and healthy, to wear clothing that is not dirty and that is functional.  I am saying that it is silly, and pointless, to lament over not being able to "impress" with "over the top" things.  When you are out and about, you are just a speck of sand in a sea of people.  Nobody cares what you are wearing.  To think they do is fooling yourself.  But, you are unique inside.  Nobody can be who you are.  There are MILLIONS of people who wear the same clothing, who drive the same car, who have the same phone.  If you think that makes you unique, you'd better reconsider!  What makes you unique is your own abilities, thoughts, experiences, ways of coping with stress, ways of seeing the world.  If you see the world as a horrible place that is out to get you, you are going to have troubles in life.  And nothing material that you can project towards others will save you.

Money is nice.  It can help you buy property, travel, engage in new experiences, and educate yourself.  But, many things in today's modern world are easily achievable even without much money.  One can educate themselves for free.  Property in some areas is very cheap and obtainable.  It does not cost that much to travel if you are willing to do it on the cheap and research well in advance.  New experiences can be had for a pittance!  Those who are truly smart will see that there are many ways in which one can live and thrive without much wealth.  Oh yes you can!   

Harvard Law School: The World's Nicest Prison

Harvard University School of Law

There is a saying: a prison is still a prison, even if it is the world's nicest prison.  Another saying states that "a law school is a law school even if it is the world's nicest law school."  So, the question becomes, is Harvard law school the world's nicest law school?  It seems to be the most popular law school to those who do not realize that Yale is US News and World Report's most high ranked law school.

I am sure that many law students that don't get into a top school wonder "what is Harvard law like?"  "How would my life be different if I went to Harvard University School of Law?"  What opportunities would exist if I made it onto the "Harvard Law Review?"  I know that I have sometimes wondered that.  Perhaps I would have made it into a big law career.  Perhaps in a year from now instead of looking for jobs, I would instead be rolling in the wealth.

Remember, the world's nicest prison is still a prison.

But life is a lot more than money, and it seems that the more I think about it, big law is something that I don't want.  In fact, a life of big law seems more like a prison sentence.  Recently I heard an individual talking about a friend of his from Fordham Law School who landed a BigLaw job.  He was excited at first, but as time went on, he began to feel that he was no longer a free person.  Shortly after being hired, he stated many times, openly, that he hated the job.  In fact, he said it was not uncommon for him to overhear co-workers have to call their families late at night and tell them that "daddy or mommy would not be home to say goodnight."  Is that the life I really want to live?  That's the question that I ask myself.  While the money would be nice, it is what is often called "golden handcuffs." 

Many people are not frugal once they land a job that pays $125,000 and up.  They think that the "world is their oyster" and spend themselves into a lifestyle that they have to maintain.  Once one buys an expensive car, house, amasses credit card debt, etc. etc. they will be trapped.  No matter how much money one makes, it is not worth being trapped. 

I was told about individuals who work in big law that have to ask to borrow money for lunch from other associates.  That is how overextended some people are.  Why spend so much money to show an image?  Is having an outward image that important?  I tend to not think so.  There is something to be said about frugality and living under one's means even if rolling in wealth.

A fool and his money are soon parted.  In fact, many biglaw associates don't make it, either because they find that they are not cut out for the job, or because they are let go when the economy changes.  When a lifestyle of this type changes, disaster ensues.  Financial ruin becomes the soup de jour and woe to the person who has to rebuild a life that has been torn apart by such a life alteration.

Of course, I would love to say I went to Harvard Law.  It seems like a pretty decent school.  Of course, there are still some who will come out of the school and not do great.  But a loser at Harvard Law has more options than a grad from a school such as, say, "Thomas Cooley Law School."  Even my school, which is pretty decent, does not even come close to the prestige that emanates from Harvard. 

A while back I did write an article entitled "Law School as Prison" which, for some reason, is my most popular post.  Many people seem to consider law school as a prison.  Many people do not seem to particularly enjoy three years of reading books, learning 'bout crooks, and professor's evil looks.  Many people don't enjoy shelling out over $100,000 for the honor of perhaps being called "your honor." 

"The law professors are the guards.  They torture you with long readings and calling upon you randomly in class, hoping that you will stumble, so they can waterboard you.  I have been waterboarded three times during my first year.  Trust me, it was not fun.  The professors often claim that they love the law, and their jobs, but me thinks that they love their big paychecks, which, after the warden, is probably the next largest.  If you get 'good behavior' you get an extra 1-3 points.  Whatever the hell that means."

Like prison, one gets better at law school as time passes.  For example, I can now take a law school exam with my eyes closed.  I know how to tell if I will be called on well in advance.  In fact, I believe that is part of the reason why 1Ls are terrified (they are the new inmates) and 3Ls are complacent (they are the ones that are neck deep in the system).  The LLMs are lifers.  No doubt about that. 

Sometimes I feel that I have been in school for far too long.  In fact, I have been in school for about 8 years.  That's way too long for me.  I took a break to work in fast food for about two years in which I was able to make decent money (for fast food).  Although it was menial work where I felt like a slave, it was a paycheck.  Now, I find myself stretching student loan checks to get by.  I miss making money.  I miss being productive.  While I sometimes try to enjoy the whole schooling thing, the truth is, I want to start saving money.  I want to start paying off my loans.  I want to start being able to put money towards property.  I want to live.  Being in school was fun for a while, but now I crave some kind of change.

Of course there is also the fear of feeling like a slave again.  I don't want to end up feeling like garbage when I go home at night after a long day at work.  I believe that's how biglaw would make me feel.   Sure, I would be making a lot of money.  Sure, I would pay off my loans quickly.  But, I would rather work a public interest/government job for 10 years and pay back my debt that way, and work in a job where people were not overextended because they were working for money.  I realize that not all public interest jobs are like this, but of all my internships and work experiences, jobs that were in the public sector or non-profit have been the best places to work for, especially as far as employee morale.  The places that were driven by profit were the worst.  You are seen as a number, not a human.  I have worked for places where I didn't even have a name!  I was just some four or five digit number.  I never cared for that then, and I would not care for it now.

I have been at many points in my life where I have felt trapped.  I think biglaw would feel like a trap to me.  In fact, I think that I am lucky that I did not go to a school that may have got me into biglaw.  Call me crazy, but some good has come out of me not going to a place like Harvard.  Sure, I would have had a nice big ego and have been popular with people who thought at one time that I was a loser.  But, I don't need to prove my worth to anyone else.  In fact, I am glad to have got to a point in life where I can accept myself for who I am, and believe in myself enough to not lament my future.  Looking back on past blog entries, I realize that I have not always been that kind of person.  I have changed a lot over the past few years.  In fact, law school has done me some good in getting me to question who I am and what I want to be.  There is never anything that is wholly negative in life.  There is always a lesson to be found.  Sometimes the things that we think we want can end up to be a disaster for us.  If I had got into Harvard and went into a life of big law, I think that would have been an epic fail for me: A real law school disaster. 

Derailed at My Law School

"It's only a story, it's not real.  It's only a story!"

I have to start standing up for myself.  I have always been a, in the words of the dean of my school, "spineless little sh*t!"

When I was alone, one Monday morning, taping up an ad to my scamblog, LawSchoolFail, in the restroom of my law school library, a janitor walked in and asked what I was doing.  Sheepishly, I replied, "nothing."  He looked at the ad that I was hanging up on the law school wall and looked at me once more, asking me to "tell him the truth."

I said, "I was hanging up some information.  I thought we could advertise."  I went to grab the paper, but was intercepted by the angry janitor.  He quickly grabbed the paper, which fell toward the ground.  He pocketed it and I asked for it back.  He said, "no, you will just hang it up when I leave."

Later that week I got an e-mail from none other than the law school dean.  He told me that he wanted to set up a time to meet with me.  By this time I had forgotten all about the little advertisement that I was hanging in the bathroom, and I was excited to be meeting with a big time law school dean.  In fact, I have never met or spoke to this guy before, so I figured that this would be a good time to "network" as the law school employment guides say to do.

So, I found myself waiting for the dean up in his office.  He came out and called me back to his office where he had me have a seat.  He immediately asked how I liked law school, in which I said, "I am enjoying my time here very much."  Right after I said these words, I saw the advertisement for my blog sitting next to him on his desk.  I immediately knew why I was called into the office.

The dean told me immediately that he had read this blog in the past and was appalled that it was written by a student at his school.  I did not know what to say.  I did not want a soul at my school to know that I wrote this blog.  He had a scowl on his face when I asked what he could do to make my law school experience more enjoyable.

I said I was terrified about not finding a job.  He showed me the law school pamphlet and pointed to the employment statistics.  He also printed out my transcript and showed me that I was well within the numbers of people who would find a job.  He stated that since I was not in the lowest of ranks, that a job was almost guaranteed for me.  He said that even though it shows I have loans of well over x-amount, that I would be able to probably pay them off in as little as 5 years. 

I did not know what to say.  I nodded and he said, "what else is bothering you? You can be frank, I appreciate candor."  I said, "I don't know.  I had fun with the blog and a lot of students really enjoy reading it.  I have made a following for myself, but now I realize I was wrong."

The dean offered me a partial scholarship if I would take my blog down, or better yet, change my tone.  I felt as if this would be selling out, and since I already have so many loans, I turned him down.  I said "I will think about changing what I have to say, but some people are not going to like my new tone."  The dean glared at me for a moment but then smiled and said, "I understand completely.  I used to be a spineless little sh*t myself."

I did not know what to say to this.  I almost melted right there in my seat.  He told me he would "be reading and that he hoped that he would find the material more palatable," as he usually reads my blog during mealtime hours.

I decided to try to make the blog more useful for law students who were in a situation such as mine.  I thought I would write about thinking positive versus thinking negative.  I do believe that thinking in a negative manner doesn't do anyone any good.  Further, I thought posting about job search strategies as well as being frugal would help other people who do search for such methods and find my blog.

As I walked out, the dean said to me, "I honestly hope I never have to see you again up here."  I was really hoping that he would help me find a good full time job.  But, in the end, he only wanted to talk to me about my blog.

I have decided that I am going to keep the tone of my blog just as I had before.  I am not going to let no sly talking dean tell me how I should write.  He did e-mail me later and said that if I liked to write he could possibly offer me a spot on the law review, but I would have to delete my blog and sign a paper that said I would never reactivate my blog again.  I was tempted, as law review was something that was important to me in the past.  However, now that I am almost at the end of my law school career, there is no point on me joining law review now.  I would probably not even have time to be published in it, and the dean would probably make sure that nothing I wrote would be actually published. 

THIS BLOG IS MY LAW REVIEW! 

I am going to keep this blog rolling, and let that dean know that I am not "spineless" as he thought I was.  I am not going to bend over backwards like a pack mule being loaded for a long journey, instead I will continue to preach the message and hold out some hope for finding a job in the future.  I will think positive and might even continue to advertise my blog around the school.  I am not going to let any law school shills control what I say on or off the internet.  We are taught that we have freedom of speech, yet there are so many people who want to stifle that freedom. 

We can not let ourselves be bullied by others.  We can not give up that which we believe in.  Haters gonna hate.  But we are the champions, my friend!



The End.

Is Law School Debt Making You Sweat Late At Night?

Have you ever woke up at around, say, 3:16 AM, thinking to yourself, "I am indebted by debt!"  I recently came across my law school debt number, which is quite large.  My first thought was "crazy!"  Then I huffed like my mother's Schipperke.  But, I realized at that moment there was really nothing I could do about it.  In other words, it was too late.  The damage has been done.



Have you caused damage to your own life?

There is nothing worse than waking up in the night realizing that you have basically chipped away at your life and sanity.  However, what's the point of fretting over it?  I could cut and mince my meat hoping that it would bring me feelings of joy.  However, that would do me no good.  I would not only still feel like a thirty pound walleye that had been thrust from the sea at the end of the day, but I would also be battered bruised and scarred.  Therefore, there must be another way to feel better and begin to heal the damage that has been dealt.

I realized that there were a ton of scamblogs already that talk about the issues that have presented themselves.  Those blogs do more than I am prepared to do in order to get attention to the issues.  I decided that I wanted to help some law students and graduates who already have amassed a "thirty FORTY FIFTY SIXTY pound Walleye" worth of debt grab the reins and whip their life back into control. 

I decided, while staring at a big six figure debt number, that I could let it bother me and eat at me, or I could say, "what does it matter?  My life is what it is.  I can still be happy, even with this huge debt.  I can still do things and accomplish much.  I will not let this debt hold me back."  To be honest, my debt is probably larger than most.  I could come up with many scenarios in my mind about the debt, but I have done that all my life with other things, and many of my fears never came to be.  In effect, I found that I worried about nothing, even though at the time my worries seemed substantiated. 

Therefore, I want the message of this blog to be, in essence, that you should not give up your life and dreams, and you should not worry, about your student loan debt.  I am in no way saying that it's alright that schools charge as much as they do for an education.  I am not saying that there are not too many law schools.  I am not saying that the numbers are not misleading.  I am saying that many people waste too much time in sorrow and worry and lose their own lives to that misery.  There is no reason a person should continue to live in misery if they don't have to. 

If the grim reaper visited you tonight, would your mattress stay dry?

If death came knocking at your door today, how would you look back at the last month, the last year, the last decade of your life?  Did you complain about your life, or did you spend that time with your family, your loved ones, your pets, your children, your ailing grandmother?  Would you be happy with what you did with the last few years of your life?  Would you do anything different?  Would all that worrying about your student loan debt been worth it?  What is the worst that can happen?  There is no debtor's prison.  Debt is not a crime.  In fact, debt is considered a risk of credit.  It is merely a side effect to giving credit.  It sucks for those who hold it, but should you, the debtor, allow it to control the aspects of your life that it has no business controlling? 

Lately I have been told that the "message of my blog has changed."  I don't like to think it has changed.  I like to think that my attitude has changed a bit though.  I have disabled comments for the time being as I was getting some rude and downright vile comments.  I figured that reading them did me no good.  I can read other people's thoughts on their blogs if I am interested.  Some of the commenters do nothing to actually bring about change, instead just being a nuisance on these blogs (and one thing I have learned in property law class is a nuisance is not a good thing and this blog is my property.  Do you really think I want a NUISANCE on my PROPERTY?).  I don't feel like fighting the commentors.  So, for now they are gone.  

What can you do now?

This blog isn't about what you should have done yesterday, about what you shouldn't have done three years ago, it's about what you should do NOW.  It's about what a student who is already neck deep in law school can do to make the most out of their life.  It's about how a person who is struggling with the sloppy seconds of life can do to get back to firsties.  This blog will not be popular with the crowd of "negative-nellies" but should hopefully bring something for those who are now saying "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH."  One can only complain about their plight for so long before diving in and saying, "it's time to climb out of my situation.  I have but one life to live, and I have to turn it around RIGHT NOW." 

Are you ready to turn your life around?  Are you ready to climb off the couch and perhaps make a big life change?  Are you willing to do something that may bring you out of your comfort zone?  If you are sitting on the couch and watching Jerry Springer while sending a resume or two out every few days, then HANG ON!  This blog is for you. 

If you are the troll who just comes to these sites and hopes to get your kicks by making a fool of yourself, and you are not willing to change your life, then sit back and enjoy a life of mediocrity.  This blog is for the big boys.  It's time to man (or woman) up.

Coming soon

-Ever been to Glacier, Yellowstone, Yosemite?  How about living with the bears for a while?
-Which countries are friendly to expats who might be wanting to find a change of scenery?
-Biglaw isn't as great as you may think.  An interview with the gun responsible for a Biglaw suicide.
-Tips to find a partner for life.  Even debtors need lovin'.
-Money Matters: how people spend themselves into oblivion, and how you can curb your spending.

...and much, much more!  Only on Epic Fail: Law School Disaster.

Jobs for Law School Grads

In the next few weeks, I am going to start a new section on this blog known as "non-traditional jobs for law school graduates."  The point of this will be to help law school graduates who have not been able to find jobs to secure work in areas they may not have considered before.  Many law students think that their only option after law school is finding a job in law.  Furthermore, other law students are worried that they will not be able to find meaningful full time work after law school. 

While I am aware that finding a job out of law school is a challenge, I also believe that diversifying your options is a good way to start.  I don't think that a person who sincerely wants a legal job after law school should compromise their goals and look for something else.  However, I do know that many law grads are curious as to what kind of jobs they can find once law school is complete. 

I will be posting links to various organizations that are known to hire law grads, as well as to some others who value the kind of education that law school can provide.  Although such a list can not be perfect, and while there are many critics, the goal of these entries is to give people a new perspective in their job hunt. 

At first, I will go through the more obvious jobs that law school graduates have a chance of getting, then I will go into more specialized positions that many law grads have not considered.  Not all of these jobs will be high paying positions, but they will have growth potential, teach new skills, and possibly offer loan forgiveness.  Also, I will try to look at jobs where a person can possibly use the skills they learn to start their own business. 

I believe that when working one should keep an open mind and think to themselves, "how could I start a business using the skills I have learned here?"  "How could I do this better?"  "What managerial operations work and which ones do not work?"  To me, the ultimate goal is to have my own business and work for myself.  I have believed for quite a while that true happiness comes from doing something yourself for yourself.  Why should one break one's back for the direct benefit of another person while only getting a small share of the crumbs left behind?  With that thought, one can gain some experience working for others, but the end goal should not be a lifetime of servitude, but taking those skills that have been gained and using them for one's own direct benefit.

The first job I want to outline is Foreign Service Officer.  This can be a tough job to get into, but that does not mean that one should not try.  The hiring description does state that law school graduates are wanted for the position.  In fact, many law graduates do become foreign service officers. 

http://careers.state.gov/officer

If you know a foreign language, your chances of getting in are even higher.  In fact, I would recommend anyone who is starting law school to think back to any foreign language training they may have had in undergraduate and consider trying to become fluent in it.  Many individuals become proficient at a foreign language on their own without having to take expensive classes.  If you have already had classes in learning a foreign language, you have a good start, and probably already know how to deal with things such as pronunciation.  With that being said, don't fret if your foreign language skills are not up to par.  You don't need a foreign language for this amazing position!

The website has a lot of useful information for finding test dates and studying for the test.  There may be some up front cost, and completing an application is not going to be a quick endeavor.  However, if you want to find a job in this economy, you must realize that there is going to probably be some heavy work involved.

To the naysayer or debbie-downers out there:  When I think that I have no real chance in getting a job with a boatload of competition, I tell myself over and over again, "someone has to get this job, why can't it be me?" 

Another option that the US government offers is called Peace Corps.  This job is for those who like to serve and travel.  Many people ask if they should do law school and then peace corps, and maybe I will touch on this in a later post.  While it may be a bad idea to do law school before spending time with the Peace Corps, especially if you plan on working law, it may not be a bad idea if you want to do something else and be taken care of.

Public Service Loan Forgiveness

Also, consider the information below, with a list of jobs that qualify for public service loan forgiveness.  Every law student should have this information handy when looking for jobs when they have a STOCKPILE of debt.  

The public service loan forgiveness program has several restrictions:

• Term: The forgiveness occurs after 120 monthly payments made on or after October 1, 2007 on an eligible Federal Direct Loan. Periods of deferment and forbearance are not counted toward the 120 payments. Payments made before October 1, 2007 do not count. Likewise, only payments on a Federal Direct Loan are counted.
• What is forgiven?  remaining interest and principal are forgiven.
• Employment: The borrower must be employed full-time in a public service job for each of the 120 monthly payments. Public service jobs include, among other positions, emergency management, government (excluding time served as a member of Congress), military service, public safety and law enforcement (police and fire), public health (including nurses, nurse practitioners, nurses in a clinical setting, and full-time professionals engaged in health care practitioner occupations and health care support occupations), public education, early childhood education (including licensed or regulated childcare, Head Start, and State-funded prekindergarten), social work in a public child or family service agency, public services for individuals with disabilities or the elderly, public interest legal services (including prosecutors, public defenders and legal advocacy on behalf of low-income communities at a nonprofit organization), public librarians, school librarians and other school-based services, and employees of tax exempt 501(c)(3) organizations. Full-time faculty at tribal colleges and universities, as well as faculty teaching in high-need subject areas and shortage areas (including nurse faculty, foreign language faculty, and part-time faculty at community colleges), also qualify. 

Source: http://www.finaid.org/loans/publicservice.phtml 

It's not always just about the money, you know.

The above is information that upcoming law school graduates with heavy debt should consider.  I have a very high amount of law school debt, and the idea of having it forgiven in 10 years (without the tax burden of IBR) is rather comforting to me.  In fact, looking at my debt levels, if I spent 30 years paying off my loans, I would have to pay about $500,000 to get rid of them.  On IBR I would be hit with a HUGE tax burden.  However, if I paid off my loans using the public service loan forgiveness, I would be, in essence, making a LOT of extra money by not having to pay off the huge debt over 30 years.  For me, public service makes a lot of sense.  Looking at it from a financial viewpoint, unless I can find a job making over $100,000 a year, I am probably better off going into public service (I could be wrong, however, as I have not sat down and done the math.  Further, I am quite frugal and could easily live off $30,000 a year, putting the remainder towards the debt).  However, realistically, I realize I have a very small chance of getting a job that pays $100,000 or close to it.  Therefore, I am going to strongly consider finding a job in public service.  It may not be a legal job, but there are other options out there.   

A Tale of Two Law Students

A Tale of Two Law Students

There was once two law students.  One was named Tibby Patterson and the other was named Eric Tushingtun.  Both of these young men were quite similar, each of them were in their mid-twenties, both lived in New York, and they were both schooled to the teeth.

But the differences between these young men were also worth noting.  Tibby had middle-income parents.  His uncle, a "baby boomer" was a partner at a law firm in Tacoma, Washington.  Tibby got a first year scholarship of $21,000, which paid roughly 1/2 of his first year of tuition.  Tibby would be given money for his school housing, but he would have to take out other loans for other living expenses.  Tibby also went to a school located in the East Village.  New York University.  Considered in certain circles to be one of the finest law schools in the developed world.

Eric went to a lesser known school.  Where he grew up, in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, nobody had heard of New York Law School.  But that's where Eric would be returning after he graduated.  The employers there all hired Gonzaga Law, University of Idaho, University of Montana, and if possible, they would grab a University of Washington graduate.  But who are we kidding?  Employment in the "Inland Empire" had slowed down greatly over the past few years.  Eric knew that, but figured that law was his chance to make it big. 

Eric's parents thought Eric was just plum crazy for moving to the big city to go to law school.  They were, however, proud of the boy, but had little money to help support him.  Eric did not get any scholarship for school due to his craptastic LSAT score which was barely over 150.  Further, Eric's cost of living would be covered by student loans. 

There was recently a big story that came out in a newspaper that was called "is law school a losing bet?"  The story covered graduates at a few of the finest law schools in the country.  Columbia University School of Law, New York University, and Georgetown Law Center were all covered.  It seemed that some of the grads of these schools were unemployed, even after they landed spots on their school's moot court teams and law review.  Angry chums filled out school sent surveys stating the fact that they were barely holdin' on!  One such young woman was working in Starbucks to get by!  A Columbia law grad working in Starbucks!!!!  It was an outrage!

Eric and Tibby both were sitting in their respective school's law library reading the story.  Eric's eyes moved down the article.  Him, a New York Law School student, sitting there, reading about big-timers not getting any job offers.  Columbia and NYU grads, unemployed!  How could it be?  To Eric, Cardozo law was elite! 

Tibby's eyes slithered across the paper and he sighed.  He didn't make law review.  Hell, his grades were so bad he would have been kicked out at a forth tier school.  But his school did not remove people for bad grades.  Tibby's performance had been on a downward spiral since he noticed the papers talking negatively about law school.  When Tibby signed up he figured he would be able to supplement his English Literature degree with a law degree.  Tibby never even bothered trying to get a job after undergrad, figuring nobody would hire him.  So he took an LSAT prep class that met a few nights a week with help from his parents.  He was able to score an impressive score.  Coupled with an essay that he had professional help writing and a solid undergraduate GPA, he was able to secure entry into NYU.  At first he was hopeful, but now, continuing to read stories about NYU top-performers and Columbia grads not getting jobs, Tibby was destitute!

Eric, however, put the paper down and began to study for his upcoming Criminal Procedure final.  He had done very well last semester and wanted to keep the ball rolling.  It was his final year at New York Law school, and he was excited to move back to the Inland Northwest and start his career.  "So what if I don't work in law.  My life is still a blank canvas!" he told himself.  That did not stop him from getting some good grades.  And although he was not in the top 15% of his class due to a bad semester, and although he didn't get on law review, he figured that he would do his best.  There was no sense on lamenting about the future.  A future he did not know anything about.

Tibby sat at a nearby bar when he should have been in class.  He looked at his beer. 
"Could I get a refill?  My glass is half empty," he said to the bartender. 
"Sure.  No classes today?"
"Didn't feel like going.  What's the point?  The economy sucks," he said.
"You know, I almost went to law school myself.  I decided to continue bar tending when I saw how expensive it was going to be."
"I wish I would have never even started.  I have almost $70,000 of debt."
"This one's on the house."

Eric sometimes wondered what it would have been like if he would have taken the LSAT more seriously.  He had no doubt he could have done better.  He wondered what it would be like if he went to Columbia or even NYU.  But, Eric realized all that stuff was just vanity.  "What does it matter?" he told himself.  "I will find success in my life no matter where I go."  Some would say he had "special little snowflake syndrome," but he wasn't going to give up on his life.  He was too young.  Even if he was 50 years old he would still have a few decades left.  "Why worry?" was his motto. 

Eric took a sip out of his water container.  He didn't have much money and often found himself skipping meals and studying without even thinking of going out to eat.  Sometimes he would bring a sandwich with him.  However, he tried to save some money if he could, so he never bought drinks.  Therefore, he would fill up his water container every morning at the water fountain and later on as he studied.  Eric usually filled up his water bottle at this time of the day, but as he looked at it he smiled, as the water bottle was still half full.  "Nice, I can study some more.  This is going to be a great day!  I can't wait until finals!"

Well, time progresses like a hen smoking a crack pipe, and before you know it, both boys were graduating and looking for work. 

Eric returned home to the Inland Empire without bothering to look for work in the New York area.  He was excited to make his way back home.  He figured he would be able to find something if he had wanted to, and he knew competing with Gonzaga Law graduates was going to be tough, but he was ready for the challenge. 

Tibby, however, moved back into his parents house, a short drive outside of New York City.  He did not try too hard to find a job.  I mean, he faxed a few resumes, and went to the career counseling center but didn't get much help there.  He called a few places blindly and was told they were not hiring.  When he got a bit irate with one lady, demanding a job, she told him to never call again.  He felt angry at himself for graduating with close to $100,000 in debt (the actual number was $68,976).  It didn't matter to him though, in a few years it would skyrocket, and how the heck would he pay back his loans with no real job?  He did not trust IBR and there was no way he was going to even think about paying it back at this point.  So he left all those federal loan letters sit on his desk unopened and buried them.

Sometimes Tibby's father would bring the young lad a job lead. 
"I talked to your Uncle Ronald in Tacoma," the father said one day during dinner.
"Yeah?" Tibby said.  This being his last hope.  He always heard Tacoma was a dump, always rainy, and a "seaman's town," whatever that meant.
"Yes I did.  Sadly, they are not hiring right now, but he'll keep you in mind.  He said too bad you didn't graduate a year ago, they hired a young woman from Lewis and Clark Law School.  She's really good."
"That's nice," Tibby said, thinking to himself, "why should I care?  Lewis and Clark Law is a second tier toilet."

Eric didn't find a job quickly, but he never let it get to him.  He had started making some money on the side by designing and selling funny bumper stickers.  It was not a lot, but coupled with a part time job at the local WinCo Food grocery store, he was able to bring in enough money to live on.  He didn't send in resumes blindly, but instead tried to get to know the people that worked at the firms.  He also kept his eyes open for other job opportunities.  He knew that it could be a slow process, but school took him three years. 

Tibby and Eric began to think about the bar exam right after law school.  Eric passed, due to doing well in his law school classes.  He didn't do a bar review course but instead studied his butt off.  On the plane on the way back he studied.  He also went to the library and studied daily, from sunrise to sunset.  He passed the Idaho bar and would be taking the Washington state bar later in the spring.  He knew that would give him an advantage.

Eric took a bar review course that his parents paid for.  He barely paid attention, figuring "what's the point."  At the end, he wondered if he even learned anything, despite having studied his "butt off" for over 3 hours a day, and sometimes on the weekend.  It didn't matter though.  On the day of the bar exam, Tibby forgot to go.

Eric did eventually pass both the Washington state and Idaho state bar exams.  He thought maybe one day he may take the Montana bar as well, but not now.  He continued to look for law jobs, but with little luck.  He did not let that get to him though.  He was doing good with selling his bumper stickers and actually enjoyed his grocery store job.  Sure, he had a lot of loans, over $200,000, but IBR was helping him keep the amount out of mind.  Why should he dwell on that now?  It would just make him sick with worry.

One day while vomiting in the bathroom after a long night at the bar, Tibby's father knocked on the door.  "Son, are you in there?" the father asked.
"Yeah," Tibby said.
"Uncle Ronald called.  He said he might have a place for you at the firm.  It's just an administrative position, but it's a start.  A talented young man from University of Washington School of Law did it for a while and now is an associate."
"Oh?" Tibby said, wiping a little bit of vomit from his lips.
"Did you get your bar results back yet?"
Tibby never told his family that he missed the exam.
"Not yet."
"Well, they will hire you if you passed.  Even though it's just an administrative position, they want you to be barred.  I guess it's because of the growth potential.  And they want to help struggling lawyers out.  So, if you find out you passed, the job's as good as yours."
Tibby let another stream of vomit shoot forth out of his mouth.  It hit the rim of the toilet, bounced back, and splashed him.

Eric one day was looking in a newspaper and noticed that there was an opportunity for people with advanced degrees to go to various Indian reservations in the southwest and teach.  The pay was not great, but the idea of something new interested Eric.  Most of these schools were in impoverished areas, but there were some benefits that could even result in loan forgiveness.  Eric decided that this opportunity sounded good, signed up, and was easily hired.  He figured it was something to do while the economy improved.  He could continue to work on his bumper sticker business while teaching on the reservation and he would be helping others.  It would also be a new life for Eric.  Further, his pay would actually turn out be very good when compared to the cost of living in the southwest.

Tibby eventually told his parents about not taking the bar exam.  They were quite upset, having spent about $2500 helping the young man prepare for the exam.
"You can't live here forever," his mother finally said.
"I don't plan on it."
"Well, what do you plan on doing?"
"I'm looking for work!"
"Can't you do something in the meantime that's not law?"
"I can't!  Nobody will take a person with a JD!  It's a scarlet letter!  And everyone is only hiring Yale grads!  It's Yale or fail mom!"
"There has to be somewhere.  McDonalds won't hire you?"
"Really mom?  McDonalds?!"
"Yes, you have been living here and not bringing in any money at all!  Are you even looking for law jobs?  You've been down protesting your debt almost every day for the last month with those occupy wall street people."
"Yes!  I am looking for them!  I sent out a ton of e-mails yesterday with my resume attached!"
"Well, maybe you are going about it wrong.  Maybe you need to pass the bar to be a lawyer."
"He does," his father chimed in.
"I am going to pass it.  But others get jobs before they pass the bar, mom."
"Well, they don't miss the bar."
"I thought you were done harassing me about that."
"Sorry.  It's just that you've been here for almost two years now and I really thought you'd find something by now."
"I did too!  I thought NYU would have helped me get a job by now, but the career center there does nothing to help!"
"NYU is a good school.  Nobody else there is finding jobs?"
"Science nerds mostly.  It's for that patent law stuff.  I always thought English literature would be better for law, but I guess no matter what I do, I'm just doomed."
"Don't think that way."
"Can I get a refill of Orange Juice?  My glass is half empty."



Eric enjoyed his time on the reservation.  While at work he showed his new friends some of his bumper stickers, which became the rage down on the Navaho reservation.  In fact, many of the people there wanted some for their cars.  Can you imagine, those reservation cars with the bumper stickers on them!  It was quite a site.  In fact, Eric was making a lot of money selling his bumper stickers just to people around the reservation.  People told him he should join in the pow-wow circuit and sell some native American themed bumper stickers there.  Eric thought it sounded like a great idea and would do it during the next summer.  He would donate part of the profits to the tribe for helping him with it. 

Eric found that he made more than he ever thought selling bumper stickers at pow-wows.  Eventually he made some other novelty products and started to make a killing.  After a while some people found out that he was a lawyer and began to ask him questions.  Eric took the Arizona bar and volunteered to help out with a local non-profit during the summer months at first, while school was out.  Later, Eric moved into helping the Navaho people in the Southwest full time.  He eventually was able to pay off his loans by living a frugal life.  He enjoyed his life and was able to travel frequently.  He knew that he would find something, and although back at New York Law School he had no idea what it was, he had found it.  It was nothing he would have ever expected, but he kept his mind open and was hopeful for his future.

Meanwhile Tibby angrily left his parents house after they continued to badger him to find work.  He moved in with another law student, an angry Cardozo grad who could not find work, and together they mourned and lamented their life.  Tibby frequented JDUnderground and made his awful life well known to everyone.  For money he worked as a day laborer, telling nobody about his JD degree, lest they should shun him.  At night, he would spend most of his extra money getting drunk.  His loans were in deferment.  Each morning he would throw up before going to stand in line at a day labor recruitment center.  He would sometimes fax in a law resume, even though he never bothered taking the bar.  He blamed his parents, his school, his pre-law adviser, the professors, and just about everyone else for his lot in life.  He found himself in an unending bout of depression as life continued to throw curve ball after curve ball at him.  Sometimes, when his roommate was gone (or when he thought the roommate was gone), Tibby would break down and cry while at the computer, looking at websites of big law firms.  He would see the lists of NYU and Columbia grads that were making six figure and sometimes seven figure salaries, oftentimes partners, living in amazing co-ops and condos, riding fancy over sized cars, and he would just let the tears roll from his eyes.

"That should have been me!"  He cried.  "Curse you New York University!  Curse you!" he would scream, as he saw that even some Fordham and Cardozo grads were being hired. 

One night, Tibby ran out onto the street, fully unclothed, right in front of a taxi that came to a halt.  Crazed and drunk, Tibby was cuffed and taken to a psychiatric center for rehabilitation.  His parents were notified.  His father was disappointed.  His mother knew he would never be admitted to the bar now.  Both hung their heads in shame, knowing their son would never amount to anything.

The End

Eric Tushingtun | School: New York Law School | GPA 3.42 | Loan amount: $197,567.00
Tibby Patterson | School: New York University | GPA 2.99 | Loan amount: $68,976.00

The End of My Internship Draws Nigh

My internship is coming to an end soon, and for that I can't help but find myself feeling somewhat sad.  I learned a lot doing this unpaid internship.  I feel a lot more confident than I did a few months ago.  Everyone there has been really nice and supportive of me.  In short, I really enjoyed my time there.

I was really scared to do an internship at the beginning of the semester.  My last one didn't go as well as this one did.  I felt more like a slave at that one.  Here I feel respected and valued.  Maybe it's because this is a non-profit organization instead of a for profit firm.  I can now see why people would rather work in this kind of environment.  There is no pressure to perform for money at this internship.  Instead, people seem more motivated by helping others.  I like that.  Sadly, I don't think there is a place for me in this office.  They are not hiring right now, and if they were, they have a ton of interns who would gladly take the job. 

I am buckling down for finals.  I am also getting ready for Thanksgiving.  I am really excited to have some time off to work on my writings and to get some finals studying out of the way.  One more semester left, then it's off to start looking for a job and taking the ol' bar exam.  I can't say that I am not nervous, but I am remaining optimistic.

Tomorrow I have to wake up around 4:00 AM for school as I generally do on Tuesday and Friday (won't have to this Friday though, as I will be off).  As far as Black Friday, I don't know if I will be doing much.  I might go to Macy's in Manhattan, so if you want to meet me, I'll be there with my female companion. 

On November 18th, 2012 the Wii U game system by Nintendo came out.  I remember back to the day when I was playing Super Mario Bros.  Then it was Super Mario Bros 2.  I also remember getting the third installment around the time of Desert Storm.  I remember my mom played The Legend of Zelda all night long during that war and then vowed to never play video games again.  Zelda became my thing. 


Then it was the Super Nintendo Entertainment System.  What a system!  It was probably my favorite of all time.  The best games were on there, beginning with Super Mario World, Donkey Kong  Country (and Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest), Final Fantasy IV and VI, Chrono Trigger, Secret of Mana.  Wow!  Those were the days.


Then in High School I was stoked to get the Nintendo 64.  I was kind of emo at that time, and probably threatened suicide if I didn't get it.  I got it the day it came out with Mario 64.  I owned that game and then some.  I used to race my sister on Mario Kart 64.  She was really young back then.  If she didn't win she would throw a huge tantrum.  It was kind of funny.

Then I got a Game Cube when I was in undergrad.  I didn't play it too much due to being busy with school and living on my own.  I had a roommate then and he kind of hogged it.  I never got a Wii, instead opting for a Playstation 3.

What's the point of this story?  Well, I may one day get a Wii U, but probably once the price goes down and my financial situation improves.  I may have to start working before then, and then I wonder if I will have much time to play it.  Time will tell. 

Midterm Grade: A- "The world is my oyster"

I must say that I was ecstatic when I got my midterm grade for my "legal reasoning" course.  This course was created to prepare a student for the bar exam.  When I found out that I got one of the highest scores in the class, an A-, I was thrilled.

In the last year I have seen a marked improvement on my grades.  From an A+ in Law and Economics, to an A in copyright law, a B+ in European Union law and now an A- on my midterm, I must say that I am starting to think a lot more positive. 

No more focusing on negativity.  I now find myself primed and ready to enter class.  Excited to learn the material.  Having fun remembering notes, learning new theories, and engaging the law.  Yesterday, in my current internship, I interviewed my first pair of clients.  Getting "real world" legal experience has helped me feel confident in my abilities to do well. 

Plus if something was to happen and I decided (not the economy - the economy does not decide anything for me) to do something other than law, I have back up plans.  This is not to rub it in other scamblogger's faces.  They, too, have a host of options.  And I hope that I don't appear extra-cocky saying this.  But enough negativity is enough!  There was no way I would find myself on the PIPELINE of SUCCESS if I was down on myself all day long.  And that's how I was last year, especially when I reeled in C grades in a couple of my courses.

Now that I think positive, I know I can MASTER the exams (I have done it before, and I shall do it again).  I know that I can WOW the interviewers.  In short, I am what some may call a special little snowflake.  Why?  Because there is no reason to sell myself short. 

Who knew I was getting an A- during that exam?  Talk about Ownage!

Do you feel down on law school?  Do you feel negativity toward your Juris Doctorate?  Do you wish you could change your life?  Then, continue reading this blog.  The aim, my mission, if you will, is to change the way you think about yourself, your skills, and your life.  It is almost impossible for some to think positive.  But, once you make the switch, you will see that your life is, almost as if by magic, falling into place.  With a smile on your face as you exit your home each morning, you shall see that the world is your OYSTER.  Thinking different about your situation, realizing you have options, and knowing that you don't have to be one of the "masses" (you are an individual) will make you start to realize that no matter what setbacks you have in life, you can succeed. 

You are an individual.  You have choices.  Why let your life run on autopilot?  Why move forward on some predestined course that only exists deep in your mind?  Squeeze that OYSTER and show the world, show YOURSELF, that you are willing to change your life.

The truth is, you only live once.  Why waste it sulking?  It's time to live like an adult!

Positive Thinking

I need to change the way I think about my life.  I must say, as this has been the third year of law school, I have been happier as a student, not so scared of my future, and realize that my life is a blank canvas.  I am still young enough to change the route I take in life.  In other words, there's no sense on me being negative all the time.  It's time to think positive.

I have rarely met a person who was happy with life who did not live well.  Optimistic people seem to do better in life.  Even when they are in a rut, they think positive.  Positive people usually can sell themselves and befriend others.  While I am not a people person, I realize that I can change.  Even crazier, I am seeing the importance in changing my outlook on the world.

I have been researching positive thinking and how it improves one's life.  I think the scamblog movement is full of people who are too negative on themselves and the world.  I think that, while many people have been hurt by student loans, they need to look FORWARD, not backwards.  There is no reason to dwell on the past.  The future holds infinite opportunities.

Many of us are getting older.  Some of us are having children, getting married, or hoping to achieve these goals.  Why not leave the past behind us?  Or, at least try to think more positive?  I have realized that women (and men) don't care for a partner who is always negative.  If you are constantly telling the world you are a failure or you are worthless, you will probably be alone forever.  You have to have something to give. 

Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

• Increased life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Lower levels of distress
• Greater resistance to the common cold
• Better psychological and physical well-being
• Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
• Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

It's unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. One theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body. It's also thought that positive and optimistic people tend to live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and don't smoke or drink alcohol in excess.  Source:  Mayo Clinic Website.

It's not only health benefits that "positive thinking" results in.  Positive thinking helps in a career and financial sense too.  I have known many wealthy individuals who think positive.  They are sure of themselves and their abilities.  They know that they will make something of themselves no matter what obstacle is in their way. 

How to Create a Positive Outlook
It's been said that "attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." I couldn't possibly agree more. Your mind is a thought factory, and the thoughts it produces become your actions in life. Produce positive thoughts and you'll find ways to move forward to your goals. Produce negative thoughts and you'll wallow in stagnancy. Here's how to build a positive outlook:

1. Become aware of your thoughts. Listen closely to that voice in your head. When you think, "I can get out of debt" or "I can be a millionaire," how does the voice respond? If it says, "No you can't, and here are a list of reasons why," then you have at least a partially negative factory. That's okay; becoming aware of that is the first step toward change.

2. Force your mind to think positively. Just like a real factory can stop production or begin building a new product, your mind can begin creating positive thoughts. One of my favorite quotes on this says, "Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be." Begin by simply searching for ways to approach a problem. Your brain is extremely complex and intelligent, and it will naturally begin to find solutions.

3. Speak positively. If anyone asks what you're focusing on in life, don't be bashful about telling them your goal. If they begin giving you reasons why it isn't possible, don't be afraid to tell them that you're sorry they don't agree. Remember, this is your life; you'll be the one to enjoy the benefits or face the consequences of what you do today.
   
   Source:  U.S. News

 There are some people who seem to have a hard time being optimistic.  Many people have been trained via family to think in a negative way.  Many individuals have been raised with parents who always thought negative.  Generally I see this with many poorer individuals.  Rich parents tend to think positive and their kids, in turn, tend to as well.  This is not always true, sometimes there is a "bad seed" growing. 

I have had a problem myself with being pessimistic.  I realize that I am going to have to change that right away if I am going to be successful in life.  I may not ever get a legal job, BUT I am going to do my best in law school anyway.  No matter what challenges are before a person, one can not sell themselves short.  While there are negative aspects to the student loan system, and while it's insane what schools charge for tuition, and it is very true that there is a huge glut of legal jobs compared to the excessive amounts of people graduating.  Despite the fact that some people feel the need to turn to prostitution to service their student loans, I can not let the negativity consume me and destroy my own life.  I have to keep my thoughts positive and do as best as I can.  I have to tell myself that even if I never practice law, my life is not set in stone, and I could end up being a huge success with something else - something that may not require a degree of any kind.  So what I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on law school?  That's in the past now.  I can never change that.  There is nothing I could ever do to make that different.  Why should I kill myself fretting about it? 

Some people enjoy thinking negative.  They let negativity consume them with every passing thought.  I have a sister that is like this.  She is negative about men and only attracts guys who emotionally abuse her.  She is negative about her prospects in life, about her body, and has ended up being sexually used by many men as the years have passed.  She moves from marriage to marriage, hoping to find Mr. Right, instead finding men who treat her like garbage.  There is no way she will ever change that without changing the way she thinks about the world.  She won't change what she attracts until she starts telling herself she is better and she is going to find a great guy.  But I don't think she will ever think that way.  Her mindset is that she is "used up" with many kids from many men, and that no good man would ever want her. 

On the flip side, I have seen people who tell the world that they are good enough for a great relationship and they end up in happy marriages that last.  They set goals for themselves to have a family, to work towards something, and to start a business.  And they are able to.  They don't let the thoughts of others nor do they let their past experiences stop them.  We all fail a lot in life, but we can't let those failures consume us.  Maybe I failed by going to law school.   Maybe you did, too. That doesn't matter now.  What matters is how you spend today and tomorrow.  You may have lost a lot of money going to school, BUT you should not stop living.  You should not think that your career prospects are destroyed.  You should not think that it is impossible for you to start your own business.  Not all businesses require huge start up costs.  There are millions of small businesses out there one can start without capital expenditure up front.  Some can be started for nothing.

I had a lot of fun with this blog.  But, all things come to an end.  I don't want to end my law school experience by calling it or myself a failure.  It is what it is, and I don't know the future.  All I know is that I am where I am now, but soon I will be done with that.  I may decide to do something different with my life, altogether.  Nothing matters enough for one to destroy their minds over it.  And with that I am done. 

Thanks for reading. 

Update:  I may continue this blog, but in a different capacity.  I like the idea of "being a frugal law student" and saving money.  That's something that I think I can pass on to other law students, as few law students as a whole seem to be openly frugal or to embrace a lifestyle of frugality.

I may also try to will also definitely be more positive in the future.  So, be sure to check back if you enjoyed reading.  I hope to continue with the same "funny tone" that made this blog loved by many others. 

College Fantasy Land (the ultimate "Final Fantasy")

There's a little place you may have heard of.  It's called college fantasy land.  It's in New York, and maybe I'm somewhat bitter writing this, but I just have to get it off my chest.  You see, when I was moving I went to see my broker in the East Village.  I walked through Washington Square park, where young students were busy studying, flirting, and hanging out.  Many of them walked from their dorms to their classrooms at NYU.  Many of these students were young, perhaps living the best years of their life.  And, to be honest, they probably were.  Why?  Because, you see, they were living in "college fantasy land." 

I have been to some nice college campuses in my life, but I have never seen a place like this.  A neighborhood that is known as an enclave of the rich, where young kids were paying big money to live.  Money that is likely borrowed from Sallie Mae.  Money used to live far above one's means while young and supple (and just downright stupid).  Money that is spent living a life that will probably NEVER be obtained after college is finished.  Yet, these poor kids don't know that.  They think that by virtue of going to NYU they will be $uper$tar$.  Many think that they will continue to reside in the Ea$t village for the re$t of their live$.


Four years later: Reality hits (and it hits HARD).  Like a train, chugga chugga, barreling down the tracks at 100 mph.  This train does not stop for stupidity, folks.  This train BARRELS like a motha, right into the bewildered student who writes "NYU college of liberal studies" on their resume, thinking that somehow it's a golden ticket. 

There are NO golden tickets in life.


EVICTED FROM THE FANTASY

Every fantasy comes to an end, folks, and this one is no exception.  Except for a very few lucky sonsa, this one is going to halt abruptly.  These young 20-somethings are going to be limping off the property of the NYU dorms and apartments and making their way to either

(a) a much less desirable neighborhood, or
(b) their parents house, or
(c) a homeless shelter.

Only a few will be funded by parents to continue to live in high end neighborhoods and enclaves of the rich.  Only a few will have what it takes to fund a life of luxury in such nebulous nabes. 

Let's ignore those who were born with that silver spoon in their mouths.  Let's focus on the unlucky multitudes, the masses of poor unfortunate souls who have been burdened with the debts of the destitute.  Let's focus on those who will probably never have the gumption to re-enter into Washington Square Park, those who will cry for years when they realize that college fantasy life is over.  (Some will probably become Animal Hoarders)



[Watch video before continuing on for the ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE™]

When I was young I used to play a game called Final Fantasy.  In this game you were a person (usually a knight, rebel, or leader of a resistance of some kind) who was trying to save the world.  At first you would come across a fiend of some kind and then as you continued your journey, you would realize that the plot was deeper than you thought.  In many ways these kids are living their Final Fantasy. 

Unlike the video game series, Final Fantasy, there are no sequels to be had here.  In other words, once the college fantasy is over, you are done with your fantasy.  In other worlds, you are in First Reality (which has crappier graphics, believe me). 

There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that it probably sucks to go from eating out of sally mae's palm to paying her back.  You see, Sally Mae funds quite a life for some people.  Buying [epic curtains] and [legendary laptops], and, in the end, getting a [diploma] comes at a price.  Further, livin' large in lavish living spaces rarely ends up costing nothing.  If you thought your high school initiation was bad, or if that swallowing a goldfish to get into your sorority was serious business, wait until you are hazed into adult life.  Real adult life starts once Sallie Mae sends you that first bill.  And you may think you can defer it, but you can only defer fate for so long.

Chugga Chugga Choo Choo, life is getting crazy now!  Now you are thinking you have to supplement that undergrad degree with something better.  Perhaps a graduate degree?  A lawl degree?  Oh yeah?  Well, some of the NYU crowd can hopefully extend their fantasy land lifestyle for a few more years.  But, it's going to cost a lot more than they anticipated (perhaps there is a sequel to the "Final Fantasy" after all). However, this sequel is more serious.  You see, once you down the last boss, life gets even more serious.  In other words (in case you are not following me), once you live large off Sallie Mae (and you thought Darcy Hookhands was scary?) for the second time, she owns your soul. 

You may have bought yourself a second chance to live in one of the finest neighborhoods in NYC.  But, you probably have guaranteed yourself that you will not be coming back.  In other words, they should say at the graduation: "You are evicted from the East Village.  Get the hell out of here! (unless you are just here to drop off a donation check)."

Every year thousands of young folks migrate to this part of the city to live a fantasy.  It almost brought a tear to my eye as I made my way through Washington Square Park.  Many of these young kids sported clothing that probably cost nearly what I pay in rent.  Others carried food that I consider a luxury to even eat.  Many just sat there in the sun, basking in the site of the neighborhood around them.  They would flock to and from class, to attend a lecture.  Afterwards they would walk to either one of the two Trader Joe's stores that exist in lower Manhattan (a third exists on the Upper West Side).  Perhaps they would pick up a nice bottle of wine to sneak into their dorm.  Perhaps they would sit on their patio, looking out at the city beyond.  And they would laugh, and laugh, and then they would cry, because they knew that graduation was coming, and that there was no way they could afford $3,500 a month rent for a studio with a $972.52 loan payment due each month. 


Perhaps one would foam at the mouth like a rabid dog?

Life is full of many blessings, but many things that are too good to be true are really a curse.  You see, everything in life has a price, and attending college and living like a king during school is going to catch up to you in the end.  Many young students have no idea that they will be paying a king's ransom after school.  Further, many think that frugality is best reserved for the poor.  However, I hope that some kid at NYU (or any other school in a fine area -- I'm looking at you Cardozo School of Law) and says, "gee, I think I might just move over to New Jersey or Queens."  Even my neighborhood is cheap.  Hell, Brooklyn Heights and the Upper West side are cheap compared to the East Village! 

But, most kids are stupid.  They don't want to leave that which is hip.  They would rather talk on their iPhones and do silly walks (or walk silly) to and from class.  But, they will realize that the fantasy will end. 

(Another video, this time of an ex-attorney if you can stomach it.)