College Fantasy Land (the ultimate "Final Fantasy")

There's a little place you may have heard of.  It's called college fantasy land.  It's in New York, and maybe I'm somewhat bitter writing this, but I just have to get it off my chest.  You see, when I was moving I went to see my broker in the East Village.  I walked through Washington Square park, where young students were busy studying, flirting, and hanging out.  Many of them walked from their dorms to their classrooms at NYU.  Many of these students were young, perhaps living the best years of their life.  And, to be honest, they probably were.  Why?  Because, you see, they were living in "college fantasy land." 

I have been to some nice college campuses in my life, but I have never seen a place like this.  A neighborhood that is known as an enclave of the rich, where young kids were paying big money to live.  Money that is likely borrowed from Sallie Mae.  Money used to live far above one's means while young and supple (and just downright stupid).  Money that is spent living a life that will probably NEVER be obtained after college is finished.  Yet, these poor kids don't know that.  They think that by virtue of going to NYU they will be $uper$tar$.  Many think that they will continue to reside in the Ea$t village for the re$t of their live$.


Four years later: Reality hits (and it hits HARD).  Like a train, chugga chugga, barreling down the tracks at 100 mph.  This train does not stop for stupidity, folks.  This train BARRELS like a motha, right into the bewildered student who writes "NYU college of liberal studies" on their resume, thinking that somehow it's a golden ticket. 

There are NO golden tickets in life.


EVICTED FROM THE FANTASY

Every fantasy comes to an end, folks, and this one is no exception.  Except for a very few lucky sonsa, this one is going to halt abruptly.  These young 20-somethings are going to be limping off the property of the NYU dorms and apartments and making their way to either

(a) a much less desirable neighborhood, or
(b) their parents house, or
(c) a homeless shelter.

Only a few will be funded by parents to continue to live in high end neighborhoods and enclaves of the rich.  Only a few will have what it takes to fund a life of luxury in such nebulous nabes. 

Let's ignore those who were born with that silver spoon in their mouths.  Let's focus on the unlucky multitudes, the masses of poor unfortunate souls who have been burdened with the debts of the destitute.  Let's focus on those who will probably never have the gumption to re-enter into Washington Square Park, those who will cry for years when they realize that college fantasy life is over.  (Some will probably become Animal Hoarders)



[Watch video before continuing on for the ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE™]

When I was young I used to play a game called Final Fantasy.  In this game you were a person (usually a knight, rebel, or leader of a resistance of some kind) who was trying to save the world.  At first you would come across a fiend of some kind and then as you continued your journey, you would realize that the plot was deeper than you thought.  In many ways these kids are living their Final Fantasy. 

Unlike the video game series, Final Fantasy, there are no sequels to be had here.  In other words, once the college fantasy is over, you are done with your fantasy.  In other worlds, you are in First Reality (which has crappier graphics, believe me). 

There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that it probably sucks to go from eating out of sally mae's palm to paying her back.  You see, Sally Mae funds quite a life for some people.  Buying [epic curtains] and [legendary laptops], and, in the end, getting a [diploma] comes at a price.  Further, livin' large in lavish living spaces rarely ends up costing nothing.  If you thought your high school initiation was bad, or if that swallowing a goldfish to get into your sorority was serious business, wait until you are hazed into adult life.  Real adult life starts once Sallie Mae sends you that first bill.  And you may think you can defer it, but you can only defer fate for so long.

Chugga Chugga Choo Choo, life is getting crazy now!  Now you are thinking you have to supplement that undergrad degree with something better.  Perhaps a graduate degree?  A lawl degree?  Oh yeah?  Well, some of the NYU crowd can hopefully extend their fantasy land lifestyle for a few more years.  But, it's going to cost a lot more than they anticipated (perhaps there is a sequel to the "Final Fantasy" after all). However, this sequel is more serious.  You see, once you down the last boss, life gets even more serious.  In other words (in case you are not following me), once you live large off Sallie Mae (and you thought Darcy Hookhands was scary?) for the second time, she owns your soul. 

You may have bought yourself a second chance to live in one of the finest neighborhoods in NYC.  But, you probably have guaranteed yourself that you will not be coming back.  In other words, they should say at the graduation: "You are evicted from the East Village.  Get the hell out of here! (unless you are just here to drop off a donation check)."

Every year thousands of young folks migrate to this part of the city to live a fantasy.  It almost brought a tear to my eye as I made my way through Washington Square Park.  Many of these young kids sported clothing that probably cost nearly what I pay in rent.  Others carried food that I consider a luxury to even eat.  Many just sat there in the sun, basking in the site of the neighborhood around them.  They would flock to and from class, to attend a lecture.  Afterwards they would walk to either one of the two Trader Joe's stores that exist in lower Manhattan (a third exists on the Upper West Side).  Perhaps they would pick up a nice bottle of wine to sneak into their dorm.  Perhaps they would sit on their patio, looking out at the city beyond.  And they would laugh, and laugh, and then they would cry, because they knew that graduation was coming, and that there was no way they could afford $3,500 a month rent for a studio with a $972.52 loan payment due each month. 


Perhaps one would foam at the mouth like a rabid dog?

Life is full of many blessings, but many things that are too good to be true are really a curse.  You see, everything in life has a price, and attending college and living like a king during school is going to catch up to you in the end.  Many young students have no idea that they will be paying a king's ransom after school.  Further, many think that frugality is best reserved for the poor.  However, I hope that some kid at NYU (or any other school in a fine area -- I'm looking at you Cardozo School of Law) and says, "gee, I think I might just move over to New Jersey or Queens."  Even my neighborhood is cheap.  Hell, Brooklyn Heights and the Upper West side are cheap compared to the East Village! 

But, most kids are stupid.  They don't want to leave that which is hip.  They would rather talk on their iPhones and do silly walks (or walk silly) to and from class.  But, they will realize that the fantasy will end. 

(Another video, this time of an ex-attorney if you can stomach it.)