I wrote him a letter!

A couple of days ago I posted about a dude who wanted a person to blog for him.  Well, I have been thinking about this critter for a while now so I figured I might as well apply for the job.  "What?" you are asking.  Well, you heard me.  I thought I would send him a little letter and ask him for the job.

Here's what I said:

Dear Gerald Oginski,

I saw your ad on Craigslist and I thought I would like to learn more about the position you are offering.  I run a blog at http://lawschoolfail.blogspot.com and I would like to use my superb blogging skills to help you improve your blog.  When I went to it I saw a lot of youtube videos, but there was nothing that made me even remotely interested in even watching them.  I find that youtube videos are often more enticing if they start out with a picture of a cat doing something funny.  While I do not have a cat at this time, I figure that if I was to work for you I would not mind getting one.  However, I would have to charge you for this and may need permission from my landlord.  He may require an extra security deposit, so I would also bill you for this. 

Second, you mention that you want the prospective applicant to first send you a blog entry.  Well, if you are interested in my excellent writing skills you may look at my blog, http://lawschoolfail.blogspot.com and get an idea who your next writer may be.  I am wary of sending my writing out without compensation as I have no clue if my labor will be used without full and complete compensation. 

You mentioned that I will be competing with other law students and only two will be selected.  Since I already know that I am one of the two to be selected, I thought that it would only be proper for me to choose who I would be working with.  Therefore, you will forward me all resumes you receive and I will take it from there.  Do not worry, I will choose someone sufficient to both of our liking.

I will give you a call later on to discuss my start date.  Also, we can discuss you sending me money for the cat so I can get started helping you edit those Youtube videos of yours.  Of course, I am going to charge a small fee for that.

Speaking of fees, I would like to be paid $225 a week, as I think that three quality articles will take longer than 40 minutes to whip out.  This may be why your blog is in such poor shape.  A real quality article, including full research, takes at least an hour and a half to get ready for publishing.  You should be glad that I am here to tell you this, as you are not going to find many people who will give you quality articles AND accept a pittance of $150 a week.  $225 a week is already a low amount of money, but we can start with that and perhaps renegotiate in a couple of months once you see my work is far more superb than anything that my competitors have proposed.

Thank you for taking the time to view my offer.  If you are interested in hiring me, please get back to me promptly.  I am already contemplating other offers of employment and time is of the essence.

Thank you,

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