Part I: Derailed at My Law School
Part II: Return to the Dean
Derailed at My Law School III: The Dean's Ultimate Revenge
As you can imagine, it was very hard for me to sleep after the whole incident that happened the night before at my top 150 ranked law school. I had indeed told the dean off, but at what cost? Now I knew that I was in serious trouble. In fact, I was not sure if I would be kicked out of the school, but the thought had occurred to me. If I was kicked out how would I survive the next semester? I would need those loans to live off of. More so, I would need that law degree to get me a comfy job at Kentucky Fried Chicken. After all, somewhere I had read that they were hiring people who had a law degree. Another part of me thought that maybe I would not get kicked out. I mean, I figured it would look bad if I got thrown out due to standing up for myself at a law school. However, just the thought of being removed from law school when I was so close to graduating was terrifying to me.
I thought it over long and hard and decided that I would go apologize to the dean. I figured that was the only thing I could do to save face and maybe finish law school. And it was the only thing I could do in order to get myself to finally fall asleep as I laid there on my futon on my dark basement apartment. It was the only thing I could do to get myself to fall fast asleep on that terrifying night.
The very next day I found myself out on the grass outside of my law school. I looked at the building. It had not looked so good since the first day I started at this school. Back then I was so excited. Law school, it was a dream come true. The first in my family to be a lawyer. Hell, the first in my family to use his noggin to finish college! Darn tootin! Even though the weather was cold and the trees were all naked, I looked at it in a different way. The huge walls stood before me, and up in there was the dean, sitting there, probably looking through his salary history or talking to a pretty young lass. He was always being followed by the hottest of the hot at the law school.
I decided I would not linger around thinking and daydreaming, and instead made my way to the dean. Upon reaching the top of the building where the dean's office overlooks the city below, I caught the eye of his secretary, who had heard of me by this time.
Let me describe her before I continue with what had happened. First, she was tall, almost my height, which was really exciting to me. Second, she had long golden suntouched hair, which was exotic to the core. Third, her legs were not burdened by pantyhose. They were pale and long, and somewhat muscular. I envied the dean, who could see those legs as she sat with her back towards him when his door was open. His desk faced her, and behind him was the most awesome view. Almost as nice as the view of this fine specimen that I must say I was greatly attracted to.
"He does not want to see you," she said, immediately scowling at me when I made my way into the office. Her face was not nearly as pretty as her body. In fact, when she glared at me, her face looked like a cross between a mole rat and a pair of fuzzy dice that has been mangled by a pit bull.
"I just need to..."
"No, he told me that he does not want to talk to you."
I stood there, not knowing what to say. There she was, the gatekeeper, to the man I was dying to speak with. I understood that he did not want to see me. After all, he probably was hurt by the way I ripped him up the other day. But, on the other hand, I only told him what I felt, and I was angry. Is it so bad to stand up for one's self?
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| I took this with my camera as I left. |
"Even if he wanted to see you, he is very busy right now," she said, glaring at me still. I looked away from her for a moment until she fixed that face of hers.
"You know," I finally said, "I pay a lot of money to go to this school. I have given a lot of my time and I feel that I have a right to see him."
"I am going to have to ask you to leave right..." she began, when he stepped outside holding onto a golf club. Yes, a golf club! As if he had a friggin' golf course in there. As if he was ridin' around in a golf buggy! Why the hades did he hold a nine iron, or whatever it was, in his hand!?
"It's fine, Patricia, let him in," he said, giving her a soothing glance. I didn't even bother wasting my eyesight on her and slipped into the dean's office.
"How can I help you?" he said, putting the golf club down. Next to his desk stood a miniature golf set up like the CEOs have. I could not believe it. This is what a dean does in his free time!
"What do you want?" he said, noticing me staring at his little golf set up.
"I came to say that I am sorry about yesterday. I have been under a lot of stress lately. Finals are coming and I am just scared."
"I know," he began. "I know you are scared. You are not alone. I have talked to a lot of the people at this school lately and they are all scared. Terrified even. And, you know, I do tell them that I am implementing new programs. First of all, I am beefing up career services. I am even hiring some of our school's own graduates to work part time in the career services office. I am going to raise scholarships for the upcoming classes. The class of 2016 will be getting our biggest scholarships ever with fewer restrictions. Full scholarships for the top 10% of the first year class! Plus, on top of that, I am going to implement more clinics to help our future students reach the new state pro bono requirement."
I did not know what to say. None of that stuff would do me any good. So what the class of 2016 is getting bigger scholarships, I thought. He continued before I could even say a word.
"But, one thing that I don't understand is that those other students who are scared, they don't post blog entries on the internet about how awful law school is. Hell, they all tell me that they enjoy it here. They are happy that they got into a top 150 law school. They are proud to be here. On top of that, they would never explode at me the way you did. They are nervous about finals as well. We all have to work here, and you are no exception. But you seem to not enjoy having to work. You would rather have it all handed to you, like some kind of free loader. Looking at your transcript, I can tell your grades are near the lowest at this school. Most schools would flunk you out with that kind of performance. You should have never passed Federal Income Tax or Evidence. Yet, you slid by, because of how generous this school is."
I must say that I was more than upset that the dean looked through my transcript. I thought that was private information and he just went through it. "But, I don't have to worry about it anymore. I have talked to all your professors this year. They are not going to pass you. I gave them your student ID number, and they are going to flunk you out. I am done with you and your blog. You'll never get into another law school either. Not now. No school will take you."
"Why?" I said. "I came to apologize!"
"I take my position as dean very seriously. I gave you the opportunity to repent," he said, clenching his hand in a fist as he spoke. "Yet, you figured that you would continue to post on that damn blog of yours! And, if that is not bad enough, you continue to post on that blog, and you will post about everything I do. I told my secretary to not let you in here because I didn't want to see your little story about me on your blog. And I know you are going to post again, no matter what you say or no matter what I offer you. The reason you scambloggers don't get legal jobs is because you are inept morons. You were all given something from us and it was never good enough for you. You were given the opportunity to go to a very high ranked law school, the opportunity to get a generous scholarship to offset your reasonable tuition. How dare you complain that law school is so expensive when very few people here pay full price for the pleasure!" He was screaming now. Screaming! I just sat there, in awe. I did not get a scholarship. I was paying full price, and the bastard knew that!
"Nothing is good for your kind. You are the leeches of society. Some people; people like me, we build things. And people like you, you tear them down (he hissed this, and phlegm was going everywhere as he spoke). You scamblogger types all think that you can destroy the legal profession! You all think that you can bring us down to suit your needs! You realize that there is no way, though. Oh yes, you do! You can't stop us! There is nothing wrong with what we are doing! Educating society is not a crime! Your libel is though, and the law will catch up with all of you!"
I was in awe here, almost crying, to be honest. I had never been so scared at the volatility of a man in my life. And I could tell he was fast losing it. As he was screaming at me he was clawing into his arm and blood was starting to trickle up where his finger nails were starting to dig in. And it was like he didn't even know it. He was oblivious to it all as he sat there, ripping me apart with his words.
"You act like I do nothing here at this school, that I just sit around. But I work my ass off. When you are at home watching Dr. Who, I am figuring out how to get you people jobs! When you are laying in your bed trying to fall asleep, I am trying to raise this school's rank on the U.S. News and World Report rankings! When you..."
He stopped. He turned around, and picked up the golf club and stared for a moment at the window. Then he took that club and he threw it right at the glass. It bounced off, putting a large crack in it.
"Are you alright?" the secretary said, rushing into the room with a terrified look on her face.
He said nothing for a moment. Then he turned around. Clenching his teeth, he said, very slowly.
"Get. Out. Of. Here."
She backed out and shut the door without so much as a word.
"I am really sorry," I said. "That's all I came to say. I am sorry."
"You will be." He went to his desk and he sat down and opened his desk drawer.
"I just wanted to say that," I said, standing up. "That's all I came to do."
"I don't care anymore. I gave everything to this profession. I went to law school, too, and went through all the Socratic method myself and I never complained. It took me a month to get my first job, and I never complained. I had no help from Harvard's career services back then!" he hissed.
"I see," I said, making my way to the door.
"Come here," he said, somewhat calmly. I changed course, and walked toward him, not thinking otherwise. It was like my legs just moved without my mind working them. It was like I had no control. I should have ran. I should have turned around and got the heck out of there. I then realized I should have listened to some of my earlier comments and just dropped out. But I was stupid. Oh how stupid I was!
"Closer," he beckoned. His expertly crafted teeth gleamed in the sunlight which beamed into that executive office as he commanded me to move towards him. His nostrils flared in tandem, like twin hyenas pacing around a young gazelle, and his face darkened to a deep crimson red, as if lit up by the blistering fires of Hell itself.
I was there, right next to his desk when I saw something black that scintillated as the dean held it. He brought it up and in an instant, just as my mind registered that which he possessed, I heard an eardrum bursting bang. In a fraction of a mere second, I felt my own skull cracking and exploding open as my body fell. Intense pain shot through me as I felt darkness cover me. My head toppled onto the desk right before bouncing off of it and slamming against the floor. Blood gushed from my head, my nose, and also exited though my mouth. The secretary rushed in immediately, and before she screamed, she saw the dean take his boot and slam it into my skull, busting my jaw, my nose, and snapping my neck. I laid there, dead on the floor, as that janitor who had started it all, came in and began to clean up the remains of a decimated body that was spread on the floor right there before the dean.
“The first thing we do, let's kill all the law
― William Shakespeare,
***
So there I stood in the bathroom of my law school holding a piece of paper with the name of my blog "LawSchoolFail." I brought it towards the wall and started to tape it there when I heard the janitor outside. I wondered what would happen if I was caught. Where would I end up if the janitor came in and saw me hanging up the advertisement for my blog? Surely the dean would not be happy. I could possibly be kicked out of the school! And then what? I thought it over, coming up with a realistic sounding possibility in my mind. A possibility that could only end in my disfavor.
I quickly took the advertisement down and thrust it back into my bag as the janitor walked in.
"Oh, didn't know this was occupied," he said, smiling. "How are you today?"
"I am fine, yourself?"
"Great. If you are done, I will just get to cleaning up in here."
"It's all yours," I said. Looking at my watch, I realized that class was about to start.
"It's best that people find this blog on Google," I told myself, making my way to class.
The End.
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