Getting Married as a Student Debtor.

The "average cost of wedding" thing is irrelevant and somewhat stupid in my opinion, otherwise, this is interesting.  My debt, however is way more than $20,000.  I really don't understand how the average is so low.

My fall semester of law school is now done.  I will soon be getting my grades back for the six classes that I took this semester.  I will say that, on balance, this semester was a lot easier than the first semester of my second year, and maybe even last semester.  I was scared to death of my Bankruptcy final, but it wasn't so bad.  I am hoping that I got at least an A- in the class.  Only time will tell though. 

I gave a lot of thought towards the idea of getting married.  The issues of getting married as a student loan debtor seem to be:

• Can I give my future spouse a good life with a lot of student debt?
• Will this debt affect our relationship and the love for each other?
• Would I be happier being in debt and single or being married?
• Are we both mature enough to enter into marriage?
• What do we both want for our future?
• Is she fully aware that getting a job after college for me is going to be a challenge?
• What will her family think of her marrying a debtor?
• What do we both realistically expect out of life?
• If we did want children (we don't) would the level of debt hinder us from having children?
• When do we want to retire and will we be able to?
• If I was to leave the country, would she want to come with me?
• Will she have the same level of student loan debt herself?

I think the above questions are worth thinking about in great detail.  I am still leaning on the side of marriage.  Reading through some of the comments on my last post was, in a way, disheartening.  Many people did seem very adamant about me not getting married.  One comment was downright vile.  Others seemed to think that a marriage was alright in my situation.  I do believe that many people hold themselves back in life.  Furthermore, I have no clue why a debtor should not feel that they could get married or have children.  Life will not be easy for the debtor in marriage.  Life isn't easy for anyone, though.  There are many challenges that we all face, no matter what our position.  If I was a big law lawyer with zero debt and a high consumption lifestyle, would life be easy for us?  My wife may be upset that I work all the time and never spend time with her.  That's a reality that many who did "luck out" have to deal with.  Very few people in this world have it "easy." 

What do we both want for our future?

We have talked a lot about this.  I always thought that it was important to have a spouse that had similar goals and dreams.    We both want to one day open our own business.  We both want to see new places.  We both do not want children.  We both don't feel that it is necessary to spend a lot of money to be happy.  We both want to own property one day.  We feel that these goals are obtainable for the both of us, even with debt.

What will her family think of her getting married to a person with high student loan debt?

I am not sure what they are going to think of it.  We realize that we do not need to tell everyone about every aspect of our lives.  It is not really either of our families business how much debt we have, mainly because 1. they didn't cosign on our loans, and 2. we are both adults who are funding our own education ourselves.  I have not told my family that I have a lot of debt.  They would be surprised to find that out.  I will not tell them, because, as an adult my life is mine.  I made the choice, and although it will be hard, there is nothing they can do about it and I realize that I do not want to hear about it.

Having children with high student loan debt.

We both do not want children of our own.  However, I don't think student loan debt would stop us from having children.  Again, we do not feel that we need to live like royalty.  Children need a loving environment where parents spend time nurturing and letting them learn about the world.  A child does not need to be raised on material possessions and unceasing entertainment.  An educated person who values learning has a lot to offer a child.  Sadly, many of the educated individuals with student loan debt are not having children.   I may write more on this subject in the future, as I think it is worth discussing. 

Will we be able to retire with our student loan debt?

Probably, but it may be later than some.  If not luxuriously, it's not a huge deal.  There's always ways in which a person can get by.  There are always places one can retire even if it is not in luxury.  There are some great places around the world that one can live cheaply in.