Ah, yes, Mr. Brian Tannebaum, "hyper-successful" Florida defense "lawyer". Or prick, in other words. Who evidently has whole swathes of time in his afternoons to troll sites like this and insult people.
Here's some of the comments he has not yet deleted:
Brian Tannebaum April 24, 2013 at 12:26 PM
Congratulations, this is the most pathetic post I've ever read.
Brian Tannebaum April 24, 2013 at 1:04 PM
This is a protest? Don't you have to get off your couch to protest something?
Brian Tannebaum April 24, 2013 at 1:49 PM
I love this community. There is nothing better than being around people that make you feel better about yourself. And as far as what I find pathetic? I think it's unfair that you are asking me to be specific when I am unable to find anything in the article that's not pathetic. Now go make sure your Mommy has made you dinner while you curse the man for not giving you the job you were promised.
Brian Tannebaum April 24, 2013 at 2:21 PM
Gee, I've never ever ever ever seen that comment before. Maybe we have people working for us, maybe we don't need to have 300 cases a day to make rent. Maybe this is when we eat lunch. But keep trying, one day you'll have this type of practice. No, actually, I'm kidding, you won't.
Brian Tannebaum April 24, 2013 at 2:57 PM
Does it hurt you to be so stupid? I mean I realize you're anonymous so you get to sit at home and be happy that no one knows who you are, but do you really think that not having a link to staff on my website means I have no staff? NO, wait, you do. Damn. And 300 clients? Here's what I said punk: "maybe we don't need to have 300 cases a day to make rent." I don't have 300 clients, don't need 300 clients. Maybe if I charged $500 a case I would, but, nevermind. Hey, listen, next time you're in Miami, come by the office. I'll provide the tissues.
Brian Tannebaum April 24, 2013 at 4:12 PM
Mom?
Seriously, what a douchebag.
Was he drunk perhaps? Who knows. But anyone who posts insults online under their own name lacks common sense. You want this moron as your defense attorney? He's laughing at you behind you back while taking your money. Note to future clients - there's a difference between hiring an aggressive, competent attorney and hiring a loudmouthed dick. Tennebaum is the latter, by the way.
This clown is the current president of the Florida Association of Bar Defense Lawyers. Awesome representative they have - someone who insults people online like a ten year old. Do they know he trolls sites under his real name, insulting new entrants to the profession?
But be careful! This media tycoon had his article "The Bar Grievance Process" published in the statewide magazine, Florida Defender. Professor Brian Leiter, watch out! We have another super author academic on our radar now. Florida Defender? That's right up there with, er, the New Mexico Journal of Horse Physiology, or Alabama Raccoon Hunter Weekly. What a prestigious publication. We're in awe of your awesomeness, Brian.
He has two highly popular blogs, each generating upwards of one comment per post. My Law License and Criminal Defense Blog, both of which deal with two topics: "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" and "drinking wine". Two topics that his comments on this site also echo - us pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, and him drinking lots of wine.
Brian, you don't want to start a fight with us online. So be a good little boy, disappear back to your low-end practice, and we'll leave you alone. But come here and start insulting us, and you'll find yourself on the losing end (again), just like everyone else who went before you. You see, we're not all unemployed lawyers. There's many people here who have careers you can only dream of. AUSAs, high-end NYC and LA criminal defense, judges, etc. You mistake our concern with legal education issues for personal failure. Trust me, Brian, our anger at the legal education system doesn't mean that we haven't found jobs, or even had jobs for longer than you've been practicing. And there's some of us who work down in your neck of the woods - you might even know us. I'm sure I'll get plenty of emails from people who know you.
Now get lost, you sad, pathetic, drunk little man.
(It seems like I'm - we're - not the only ones who think this guy is a dick. See the following: http://asshatlawyers.wordpress.com/2010/01/01/brian-10-year-bomb-tannebaum-from-miami-florida-tannebaumweiss-com/)
Asshatlawyers...
UPDATE:
Ah, the irony.
Brian Tannebaum comes here trolling, and does us all an inadvertent favor. One of the goals of this blog is to deter people from becoming lawyers. And he's done plenty of that. Who seriously wants to become someone whose friends even refer to as a dick? Who seriously looks at this guy and thinks, "I want to be him." He's truly done us a favor - making the reality of being a lawyer come to life.
Anon at 10:24 sumed it up fairly well:
I don't know Tannebaum, but I have been practicing personal injury trial law (plaintiff’s side) for almost thirty years now in Florida, and our entire profession has become one ruled by uncivility and outright aggressiveness. After doing this job for a while, being an assh*** becomes almost second nature and a necessary part of a person’s personality to survive in this type of environment . . one where neither truth nor justice are the goal but winning through gamesmanship means everything. If lawyers simply acted ethically and respectfully, simply complied with the Rules of Civil Procedure on a routine bases, the practice of law would be much more enjoyable. Therein lies the problem with Mr. Tannenbaum. He has become a hyper aggressive casualty of what our profession has become.Tannebaum embodies "success" as a lawyer these days - for those of you who will end up outside the elite practices in NYC, DC, LA and Fed. That is what you can aspire to become. If you're lucky, that is. If you're unlucky, you just end up being an aggressive, thoughtless tool with no business. At least this clown has clients. There's always one or two lawyers in town who develop a reputation for being assholes, and being proud of it. Brian is one of them. It works - it brings in the kind of client who is willing to fight dirty and win on issues other than the law. And it works for those clients, because the system hasn't yet learned to deal with those lawyers who abuse it.
And for those of you who don't aspire to Tannebaum's stratospheric levels of professional
So, Brian did you all an unwitting favor. Either our readers will become someone like him, or will be practicing law against someone like him. That's a shitty choice, and one that will cause many prospective lawyers to choose different careers. You can't avoid the Brians.
Get a grip, people. Don't go to law school. The past two days is like thirty minutes in the sleazy world of small firm practice. (Me? I represent big clients in a big firm. Smalltime clowns like Brian fold every day when we flash our clients' wallets. This way of practicing cuts both ways. Brians settle when my firm starts doing what it does. Just like he's "settled" and shut his mouth after he's realized that trolls don't win internet fights.)
But even more irony...
Brian himself will be sitting at his desk right now, rubbing his hands with glee. He's just gained some additional "I'll fight for you!" back-of-the-phonebook defense lawyer cred. The kinds of clients he takes love this stuff. They see this kind of trashy behavior as the kind of go-getter, aggressive, take-no-prisoners attitude that they value in a defense lawyer. Causing trouble and refusing to back down, even when hopelessly wrong? That's priceless publicity for defense lawyers.
So we all win, right? Or not. Because we all lose. The legal profession loses by valuing, even praising, this kind of Jerry Springer behavior. For those of us who have practiced law for a while (including me), working alongside this kind of lawyer in this kind of environment is depressing. Lucrative, but depressing. At least I f**k over opposing counsel with dignity. You get some fancy letterhead when I send you a "go f**k yourself" letter. But that's what law is these days - bickering, cheating, twisting, timewasting, and doing everything possible to avoid the merits of the case.
If you want to be putting out expertly-set fires by arsonist lawyers like Brian all day, then go ahead - there's 200 law schools that will happily take your money, and countless thousands of Brians who will make your professional life miserable.
If you want a career where there's perhaps one Brianesque dick in the entire company, who you can happily avoid and deal only with the normal people, then pick something other than law.
Thanks, Brian! You've done our readers a favor.
Moving on, as of tomorrow, I'll be hitting the moderation hard, and I expect the other mods here to do likewise. Trolls will be deleted. End of story.
